Love, Boundaries and Intimacy: What Healthy Love Really Looks Like A Conversation with Svenja Schumann

Nobody warned us that love comes with homework. But maybe it should have

In this episode, our host Selma Ndasilohenda Iyambo sits down with Svenja Schumann, a psychological counsellor and Imago Relationship Coach in private practice, for a honest and grounding conversation. Before we can talk about what goes wrong in relationships, we need to understand what healthy love actually looks like, and most of us have never been taught.

Svenja reminds us that healthy love is not about finding the perfect partner or being perfect yourself. It is about showing up every day, understanding the baggage you both bring to the relationship, and having the curiosity and willingness to do the work together.

In this episode we unpack:

• What healthy love looks like and why so many of us confuse it with endurance
• Why boundaries are not walls, they are guidelines that keep both partners safe and connected
• How to set a boundary simply and clearly, even when it feels uncomfortable
• The three questions to ask yourself to know whether you are in a healthy relationship or whether it is time to seek help
• Why ongoing consent still matters in long-term relationships
• How to identify subtle red flags that your boundaries are being ignored or manipulated
• What to do if you realise you have been shrinking yourself in a relationship and where to begin rebuilding

Svenja puts it simply, you are in a healthy relationship when both people feel emotionally and physically safe. Safe enough to be truly yourself, to be honest, to be open, to repair, and to grow. And if that safety does not exist, that is already your answer and can be able to reach out to a psychological councilor or a trusted adult.

Whether you are navigating a new connection, deepening an existing relationship, or still figuring out what you actually want from love, his episode is for you.

Because healthy love should feel safe, mutual, and respectful. Not confusing. Not painful. And you are not meant to lose yourself in the name of care.

Protect your peace, honour your boundaries, and keep talking.