Why Controlling People Are So Hard To Argue With

Why Controlling People Are So Hard To Argue With

Most people think coercive control is about behaviour. What they don't realise is that it starts with language. Specific words and phrases designed to make you doubt yourself, feel abnormal, and believe that the problem is you rather than them.


In this episode of How Words Work I get personal. I share my own experience of being made to feel small by people who used words as weapons, and explain the mechanism behind why it works even on people who know better.


I break down the specific phrases that controlling people use, why they're so effective, and why hearing them from a new person years later can trigger a reaction that feels completely out of proportion to the situation. And most importantly, he shows you how these same patterns show up in everyday speech when we're stressed or insecure, and how to clean them out of your own words so you never accidentally make someone feel the way you once felt.


This is the most personal episode of How Words Work. And probably the most important.


🎙️ How Words Work is a weekly podcast with Jack Fox. 📩 Jack's weekly newsletter Credible lands every week with one idea you can use straight away. Sign up here: https://jack-fox.kit.com/dfc55f19a6

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Episoder(45)

How To Stop Losing Arguments And Start Having Conversations — Part One

How To Stop Losing Arguments And Start Having Conversations — Part One

Arguments rarely start with a raised voice. They start with a small move. A question that doesn't get answered. A point that gets taken somewhere it was never meant to go. The same thing said again an...

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Here's How I Get It Wrong.

Here's How I Get It Wrong.

Jack Fox has spent years studying how criminals and people under pressure use language. He teaches these lessons every week. And he gets them wrong too. In this episode of How Words Work, Jack Fox sha...

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Simple, Clear, Repeatable

Simple, Clear, Repeatable

Jack Fox has spent years studying the words of thousands of criminals and people under pressure. Donald Miller has spent years studying the words of the most effective marketing messages in the world....

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The Best Communicators Aren't The Best Talkers

The Best Communicators Aren't The Best Talkers

Jack Fox has spent years studying the words of thousands of criminals and people under pressure. And one of the most consistent things he has found is that the people who give themselves away do so be...

27 Sep 10min

How Do You Stop Over-Explaining?

How Do You Stop Over-Explaining?

Jack Fox posted something recently about convincing language. That the most powerful thing you can remove from your own words is the convincing. That when you stop trying to make people believe you, y...

20 Sep 11min

The Two Things That Make People Feel Truly Heard

The Two Things That Make People Feel Truly Heard

I've spent years studying the words of thousands of criminals and people under pressure. And in all that time one of the most consistent things I've found is that the words someone chooses are the wor...

13 Sep 15min

How You Answer A Question Says More About You Than The Answer Itself

How You Answer A Question Says More About You Than The Answer Itself

I've spent years studying the words of thousands of criminals and people under pressure. And one of the most revealing moments in any conversation isn't the answer someone gives. It's what happens in ...

6 Sep 13min

You Say These Words And They're Costing You.

You Say These Words And They're Costing You.

I say honestly all the time and I'm not a liar. I know. And this episode is for you. The patterns this podcast pulls apart in criminals and manipulators show up in honest, well-intentioned people ever...

30 Aug 13min

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