Attachment Theory w/Aubrie Sellers: The Podcast17 Jun

For You: The Myth of "The One" and the Overthinker's Guide to Love

Aubrie unpacks the myth of "the one," the version of love we've been sold by movies and fairy tales, and why it sets overthinkers up to walk away from real, healthy partnerships. Drawing from Sheva Rajaee's Relationship OCD and research from the Gottmans, she breaks down what Relationship OCD actually is, how to tell the difference between a real concern and an anxious intrusive thought, why ROCD tends to spike at moments of intimacy and commitment instead of during actual incompatibility, and why anxiety so often dresses up as intuition. For You is about learning to choose someone wholeheartedly even when certainty isn't on the table.

Books mentioned on Attachment Theory As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller — the gold-standard intro to attachment theory and the best place to start. https://amzn.to/4g18h4t
Relationship OCD by Sheva Rajaee — for the anxious, intrusive doubts that show up even when nothing's wrong. https://amzn.to/4g6xH0K
The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron — navigating relationships when you feel everything more deeply. https://amzn.to/44unsvT
I Am by Anya Lincoln — identity work for dismantling the false beliefs you hold about yourself. https://amzn.to/4eHw1IF
Spiritual Divorce by Debbie Ford — reframing a breakup as something that came to teach you. https://amzn.to/4waOCUC

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Episoder(13)

Alien Nation: The Need for Connection Isn't a Flaw

Aubrie closes out Season 1 with the song that ties the whole record together. In a culture that sells self-sufficiency as strength, she makes the case that the need for attachment isn't neediness, it'...

1 Jul 22min

Prototype: Loving (and Being Loved) as a Highly Sensitive Person

Aubrie opens up about being a highly sensitive person, what it actually means, the biology behind it, and how it has shaped her in love. Drawing from Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Person in Love,...

3 Jun 19min

[Replay] Villain Of The Week: Dating Apps and the Disappearing Moral Code

Aubrie replays the first episode of "Attachment Theory" for new listeners while she’s on tour in Switzerland. Stay tuned for a new episode next week! In the first episode of Attachment Theory, Aubrie ...

20 Mai 32min

Attachment Theory: How Your Nervous System Learned to Love

Aubrie zooms out on the framework that names the album and this whole show, walking through the four attachment styles before digging into the part she hasn't covered yet: the biochemistry of what's a...

6 Mai 19min

Mirage: When Love and Compatibility Aren't the Same Thing

In this episode of Attachment Theory, Aubrie explores what happens when the love is real but the compatibility isn't, and how to tell the difference between something worth fighting for and something ...

8 Apr 29min

Look Up: How Social Media Hijacks Your Relationships

In this episode of Attachment Theory, Aubrie dives into the ways social media and online communication distort our connections, both with people we're dating and partners we're already with. From the ...

25 Mar 21min

Trigger Happy: When Someone’s Wounds Run the Relationship

In this episode of Attachment Theory, Aubrie examines what happens when past relationship wounds and emotional triggers take over a connection. From anxious-avoidant push-pull dynamics to the addictiv...

11 Mar 25min