The Scarlet Edit: Infidelity, Divorce, Starting Over.18 Jun

When Your Husband Has Had Multiple Affairs

Sydney reached out on Instagram. Her husband has had three affairs, two in 2021 and one this past February, and she'd been listening to the show for a while. She wanted to ask me about something I'd said in a recent episode, woman to woman, not as a fight. I said yes immediately, and I also kind of panicked. In over sixty episodes, I've never sat across from a wife who knew I'd been the other woman in someone else's marriage.

What came out of this surprised me. Sydney is sharp, honest, and self-aware in a way that's rare. She walks me through how she found out both times, both times the same way, his phone, and what it looks like to go into FBI mode and call the other woman before you've even processed what's happening. We talk about why she stayed the first time, why she's still there now ("I'm just here. That doesn't mean I'm staying."), and the fear of leaving when you co-parent a six-year-old with a man who's also genuinely your best friend.

We get into when affairs are a symptom of something deeper, the difference between hating someone and being indifferent to them, what it actually feels like when your gut tells you he's cheating again, and what she'd say to the woman her husband was sleeping with if she could sit down with her now. She's already done that with all three. It didn't go how you'd think.

This is one of the most respectful conversations I've had on this show. Sydney's perspective is new territory for me, and if you've been on either side of this, it's worth your time.

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