The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos22 Jun

Why “No Regrets” Is Bad Advice

We’ve all had moments we wish we could do over: the relationship we stayed in too long, the opportunity we didn’t take, the thing we said that we can’t unsay. Regret can feel awful. So it’s no surprise that “no regrets” has become a popular life motto. But what if regret isn't actually the enemy?

In this episode from The Happiness Lab archives, Dr. Laurie explores the surprising science of regret with authors Daniel Pink and Liz Fosslien. Together, they explain why our biggest regrets can reveal what we value most, help us make better decisions, and even point us toward a happier future.

If you've ever found yourself stuck replaying an old mistake, this episode offers a more productive way to look back.

Experts Mentioned:

Daniel Pink, non-fiction author
Liz Fosslien, author, illustrator, and expert in workplace culture and emotions
Mollie West Duffy, author, illustrator, and expert in organizational development
Augusten Burroughs, author and memoirist
Bronnie Ware, author and palliative carer

Resources Mentioned:

“Liz + Mollie”
Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay, by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy (2022)
Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel Pink (2022)
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, by Bronnie Ware (2011)
“Making Up for Lost Opportunities: The Protective Role of Downward Social Comparisons for Coping With Regrets Across Adulthood,” by Isabelle Bauer and Carsten Wrosch (2011)

Related Episodes

“How to Identify Your Negative Emotions”
“How to Be Angry Better”
“Why Nostalgia Ain't So Rosy”

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