When Drinking Less Feels Hard: Alcohol is My Reward

In this episode of the Alcohol Minimalist podcast, Molly continues the series When Drinking Less Feels Hard, looking at the real-life challenges that make drinking less feel difficult through the lens of Alcohol Core Beliefs.

This week’s focus is the belief Alcohol Is My Reward—the thought that shows up at the end of a hard day, a long week, while cooking dinner, on vacation, or anytime alcohol feels like the treat you’ve earned for getting through something. Molly explores why this belief can feel so reasonable, how the brain learns to associate alcohol with reward and transition, and why drinking less can feel like deprivation when alcohol has become the main way you mark completion, rest, or pleasure.

Before the episode, Molly also shares a reminder about Mostly Dry July-The Daily, which includes daily support, weekly group coaching calls, weekly brain boosts, and a private daily podcast to help you practice drinking less with peaceful mindfulness and without all-or-nothing thinking. www.mollywatts.com/mostly-dry-july

In This Episode

• Why alcohol can become tied to end-of-day and end-of-week rituals
• How the brain learns to predict alcohol as a reward
• Why “I deserve this” is often a clue, not a problem
• The difference between true reward and coping in disguise
• How alcohol can represent completion, freedom, pleasure, or feeling like something is finally yours
• Why expanding your reward system is essential for drinking less
• How to use See, Soothe, Separate, and Shift with the belief Alcohol Is My Reward

Key Takeaway

You deserve reward, pleasure, rest, and celebration. But alcohol may not be the reward you actually deserve.

The reward you deserve is one that restores you, supports you, and helps you feel cared for in the moment and proud of yourself later.

Listener Practice

Choose one reward-drinking moment: the end of the day, Friday night, cooking dinner, vacation, or after finishing something hard.

Ask yourself:

1. What am I trying to reward?
2. What do I want this reward to give me?
3. Will alcohol actually give me that, or is there another way to create it more honestly?

Then practice creating one real reward before alcohol. It might be quiet, rest, movement, food, connection, or a nonalcoholic ritual.

Resources Mentioned

• Mostly Dry July-The Daily
• Alcohol Core Beliefs
• See, Soothe, Separate, Shift
• Alcohol Minimalist Facebook group

Low risk drinking guidelines from the NIAAA:

Healthy men under 65:

No more than 4 drinks in one day and no more than 14 drinks per week.

Healthy women (all ages) and healthy men 65 and older:
No more than 3 drinks in one day and no more than 7 drinks per week.

One drink is defined as 12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor. So remember that a mixed drink or full glass of wine are probably more than one drink.

Abstinence from alcohol
Abstinence from alcohol is the best choice for people who take medication(s) that interact with alcohol, have health conditions that could be exacerbated by alcohol (e.g. liver disease), are pregnant or may become pregnant or have had a problem with alcohol or another substance in the past.

Benefits of “low-risk” drinking
Following these guidelines reduces the risk of health problems such as cancer, liver disease, reduced immunity, ulcers, sleep problems, complications of existing conditions, and more. It also reduces the risk of depression, social problems, and difficulties at school or work.

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