118.My Wife Asked Me One Question at 9PM (It Changed My Whole Life)

It's 9 PM.

You told yourself you'd be done hours ago.

But you're still answering messages, checking one more thing, handling one more problem, and convincing yourself that this season is temporary.

For many entrepreneurs and high performers, the issue isn't a lack of discipline. It's not poor time management. It's a subconscious pattern that equates being needed with being valuable.

In this episode, Joey Vaillancourt shares the personal story that changed his relationship with work, family, and success. From hustle culture conditioning to high functioning anxiety and the constant need to stay available, he explores why so many successful people struggle to actually be present in their own lives.

This conversation is about nervous system regulation, awareness, work life balance, and learning how to stop overworking without sacrificing your ambitions.

The goal isn't doing less.

The goal is becoming someone who can fully experience the life they're working so hard to build.

Topics Covered

• High performer burnout and hidden pressure patterns

• Why being available is not the same as being present

• The relationship between overworking and identity

• Stress management for entrepreneurs

• High functioning anxiety and subconscious conditioning

• The downside of hustle culture

• How nervous system regulation supports sustainable success

• Practical ways to reconnect with what matters most

Chapters:

00:00 The 9 PM Moment

01:11 Why Overworking Isn't a Time Problem

02:37 Being Available vs Being Present

03:41 The Night That Changed Everything

05:04 The Wake-Up Call From My Wife

06:21 Repeating the Same Pattern

07:16 What You're Really Working For

08:08 Principle 1: Available Is Not Present

10:02 Principle 2: Pressure Is a Learned Pattern

12:25 Principle 3: The Life You're Protecting

15:43 Principle 4: You Don't Need to Leave to Change

18:36 Finding Peace Before the Next Milestone

18:52 Awareness Is the First Shift

20:08 The Question That Changes Everything

Connect with Joey on your favourite social platforms!

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/

https://www.instagram.com/joeyvaillancourt/

https://www.facebook.com/joey.vaillancourt.9/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joey-vaillancourt/

https://www.youtube.com/@joeyvaillancourt-realinfluence

https://joeyvaillancourt.com/the-30-day-challenge/

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About:

Joey Vaillancourt is the host of Real Influence — a show for high performers who can't turn it off. If you've built the life, hit the goals, and still feel the pressure — this is for you. Joey helps entrepreneurs and executives rewire the unconscious patterns driving the need to force, fix, and prove, so they can achieve more by leading with presence instead of pressure.