170 How To Help Perfectionists With Their Mental Approach

170 How To Help Perfectionists With Their Mental Approach

Supporting athletes with perfectionist tendencies is a large part of our work at Inspiring Sporting Excellence. They often display the following characteristics:

  • Difficulties transferring their practice or training to competitive events or matches.
  • Trying too hard.
  • Focusing intensely on results and outcomes.
  • Unable to trust themselves under pressure.
  • High, rigid and often unrealistic expectations of themselves and others.
  • Impatience and a tendency to demonstrate poor body language in the face of difficulties and for some to give up too easily.
  • Being frightened of letting other people down.
  • Having brittle confidence.
  • Letting their own self-worth and self-esteem be influenced by poor sporting performances.

Additionally, the perfectionist athlete can be very hard on themselves which informs the content in today's episode where I share a case study and a helpful exercise relating to recovering from mistakes and errors.

Key Learning Points

  • When we're not emotionally involved it's easier to be kind and compassionate.
  • Often athletes find it easier to be kinder to team-mates than themselves when difficulties arise.
  • The pressure of being judged and critiqued in sport can impact on an athlete's ability to deal with mistakes.
  • Being kind to yourself as an athlete doesn't mean that you are going soft.
  • Learning how to be more self-compassionate can help you motivate yourself more than fear- based motivational methods.

Connect with David Charlton

Download THE FOCUSED ATHLETE CHECKLIST

Join David @ The Sports Psychology Hub

Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn

Relevant Podcast Episodes To Help Perfectionist Athletes

Ep129: David Charlton – How to Deal with Self-Criticism using Self Compassion – PT1

Ep130 David Charlton – How to Deal with Self-Criticism using Self Compassion – PT2

Ep131 David Charlton – How to Deal with Self-Criticism using Self Compassion – FINAL PART

Ep142: Alessia Bruno – Is Striving for Perfection a Good Thing in Gymnastics?

Ep156: Ruth Chiles – There is Hope: How to Overcome Focal Dystonia

Other Relevant Blogs And Resources To Benefit the Athlete Who Desires To Be Perfect

Coach Development Helping Athletes Overcome Fear Of Failure

5 Ways To Create A Psychological Safe Sporting Environment

Are You A Rugby Player With Perfectionist Tendencies?

How to Trust Your Skills When You're a Goalkeeper

How to Help Children Overcome Fear of Failure

How To Play Well When You Aren't Feeling Great

Conversations with Kids - Dealing with Criticism

Kristin Neff Website on Self-Compassion

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Episoder(312)

312 Dr John Perry: How Sport Coaches Influence Mental Toughness

312 Dr John Perry: How Sport Coaches Influence Mental Toughness

To end a recent series on the coach-athlete relationship, in this bonus episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, David Charlton is joined by Dr John Perry, Head of Department of PE and Sp...

3 Apr 50min

311 Learning Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

311 Learning Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

In this episode David concludes the eight-part series exploring the coach–athlete relationship by focusing on a powerful concept within the Challenge pillar of the 4Cs model of Mental Toughness, learn...

27 Mar 11min

310 Risk Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

310 Risk Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

Description Today, David Charlton explores another dynamic within the coach–athlete relationship: differences in risk orientation (a sub-measure of Mental Toughness).  He discusses a common scenario ...

20 Mar 10min

309 Interpersonal Confidence: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

309 Interpersonal Confidence: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

In this episode of the Demystifying Mental Toughness Podcast, David Charlton explores an often overlooked aspect of confidence in sport, interpersonal confidence. He discussed a common dynamic seen in...

13 Mar 8min

308 Confidence In Ability: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

308 Confidence In Ability: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

Today, David Charlton explores a powerful but often misunderstood dynamic in sport: the highly confident coach working with an athlete who lacks confidence in their ability. At first glance, this com...

6 Mar 11min

307 Achievement Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

307 Achievement Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

In part 4 of this mini-series, David Charlton explores a challenging but common sport dynamic: the high achievement-oriented athlete working with a low achievement-oriented coach. The athlete is orga...

27 Feb 10min

306 Goal Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

306 Goal Orientation: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

In this episode (part 3) of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David Charlton continues his solo series exploring the 4Cs of Mental Toughness through the coach–athlete relationship lens. The focus this w...

20 Feb 12min

305 Emotional Control: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

305 Emotional Control: When Coaches and Athletes Think Differently

In this episode of Demystifying Mental Toughness, David Charlton continues in part two of his solo series exploring the 4Cs of Mental Toughness through the coach–athlete relationship lens. The focus ...

13 Feb 18min

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