Episode 18 - Queering Internal Family Systems (IFS) - Adapting IFS for NeuroQueer Clients

Adapting IFS for Neuroqueer Clients

In this episode, Jude and Alessio open up a conversation they've been circling for a while: what does it actually mean to adapt IFS for neurodivergent and queer clients? Not as a checklist of tweaks, but as something more fundamental.

They talk about the difference between changing a slide background colour and genuinely redesigning how the model is taught and held. Alessio shares his experience collaborating on the first neurodivergent-friendly Level 1 IFS training, and reflects on how access fatigue can creep in when a model built for neurotypical brains is simply handed over unchanged.

From there the conversation moves into the clinical room: what happens when a therapist mistakes verbal processing for a storytelling part, or cognitive processing time for intellectualising? How do two systems, therapist and client, both trying to do IFS "right," end up getting in each other's way? And what does it mean to stay genuinely curious rather than reaching for a protocol?

Jude also names something she feels strongly about: IFS is not a linear march toward exile work. Protectors are not obstacles. All parts matter, and working with them is as valuable as anything else the model offers.

This is the first of what will likely be several episodes on this theme.

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction and today's topic

02:30 Why adaptations aren't just add-ons 05:50 Neurodivergent-friendly IFS training

08:00 Mistaking self-expression for parts

11:00 Access fatigue and trying to do IFS right

14:00 The therapeutic relationship as container

17:00 Learning the model before adapting it

21:00 Being self-led in how you meet other systems

23:00 All parts are valid, protectors included

26:00 Grace, practice, and to be continued

Disclaimer

This podcast is hosted by qualified therapists who share personal reflections and professional insights into therapy and mental health. The views expressed are those of the individual speakers or guests and are personal to them.

While we talk about therapy, this podcast is not therapy. It's for information, reflection, and conversation only, and should never be considered a substitute for professional mental health support, diagnosis, or treatment. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client relationship.

Some episodes may touch on sensitive topics, so please take care while listening. If you're struggling, we encourage you to reach out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional in your area.

Guest opinions are their own and don't necessarily reflect those of the hosts.

Contacts

Alessio Rizzo (He/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist, IFS Trainer with the IFS Institute, and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.therapywithalessio.com

Jude Carn (She/They) is a Certified IFS psychotherapist and Approved Clinical Consultant (ACC) — www.anchoredinself.co.uk

Sound editing by Forbes Coleman