"Why Can't I Remember Anything?" Understanding ADHD, Working Memory & Mental Load

Looking for ADHD self-empowerment, guidance and support? Look through my ADHD Women's Wellbeing resources here.

I'm sure you relate to recalling an entire conversation from months ago or even song lyrics from the 80s, but forgetting why you walked into a room thirty seconds ago?

On this week's episode of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, I'm joined by Dr Sarah Rudebeck, a clinical psychologist with a PhD in memory from the University of Oxford.

Sarah specialises in working memory and executive function difficulties in adults, and is the co-founder of Recallify, an AI companion for memory support. She works clinically in the NHS, with a particular interest in bridging the gap between what research tells us about memory and what people are actually offered in terms of help.

In this episode, we talk about the difference between memories that are simply hard to retrieve under pressure and genuine working memory difficulties, why so many ADHD adults share a similar cognitive profile of strong intellectual ability alongside weaker working memory and attention, and why working memory cannot be trained like a muscle, no matter how many crosswords or brain games we try. We also get into the practical side, from school admin and parenting reminders to household overwhelm and overbuying, and how Sarah's own frustration with the gap between research and everyday support led her to co-found Recallify.

In this episode, we cover:

• The difference between memories that are "in there" and memories you can retrieve under pressure
• What working memory actually is, and how it differs from attention, executive function and long-term memory
• The common ADHD cognitive profile: strong intellectual ability alongside weaker working memory and processing speed
• What happens during a neuropsychological assessment, and what it reveals about your own pattern of strengths and difficulties
• Why working memory cannot be trained like a muscle, and what the research on brain training actually shows
• How hormonal changes in midlife can affect word retrieval and confidence
• Where working memory difficulties show up day to day, from school admin to household overwhelm
• Why so many of us overbuy and overcompensate rather than under-organise
• Sarah's own experience of dyslexia and learning to lean on her strengths
• How Recallify came about, and how its brain dump and task features work

Timestamps:

• 00:00 - Welcome, and introducing Dr Sarah Rudebeck
• 01:23 - Sarah's background and her work in the NHS
• 02:43 - Why memory can feel reliable in conversation but fail under pressure
• 05:50 - What working memory actually is
• 08:36 - What happens during a neuropsychological assessment
• 12:21 - How working memory difficulties show up in children at school
• 14:41 - Why working memory cannot be trained like a muscle
• 19:44 - Everyday examples: parenting, school admin and household overwhelm
• 24:38 - Why so many of us overbuy rather than under-organise
• 29:31 - Using your strengths to work around your weaknesses
• 32:01 - How the gap in NHS support led Sarah to create Recallify
• 46:33 - Sarah's free trial offer for listeners

This week's episode is sponsored by elete, a simple way to support your hydration by adding essential electrolytes to the water you're already drinking. So many of us get completely absorbed in a task and forget to drink anything for hours, then wonder why we feel foggy or flat later in the day. Elete is sugar-free, with no artificial sweeteners or unnecessary additives, and it's trusted by health-conscious families, athletes and wellness professionals alike. Head to eletewater.co.uk and use the code WWP20 for an exclusive 20% listener discount.

Links and Resources:

• Find my popular ADHD workshops and resources on my website [here].
• Follow the podcast on Instagram: @adhd_womenswellbeing_pod
• Visit Recallify's website: recallify.ai
• Connect with Recallify on Instagram: instagram.com/recallify.ai, Facebook and LinkedIn
• Email Sarah's team for a free one-month trial of Recallify; each voucher is unique so you'll need to get in touch directly: info@recallify.ai

Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity.