Mini Episode: Real Self Esteem, Shame & Grandiosity (Listener Questions)

Mini Episode: Real Self Esteem, Shame & Grandiosity (Listener Questions)

In this quick mid-week bonus episode, Sharla answers two listener questions from our current series on Real Self Esteem and the distortions of shame and grandiosity.

We explore:

  • Why you can feel confident and know your worth, yet still hear harsh critical voices from your parents
  • How to pursue excellence and high performance without falling into grandiosity or one-up-ness
  • The different “parts” of us (healthy adult vs. adaptive child) and why this matters

These short bonus episodes are our new way of answering your questions in a more casual format between full episodes.

Have a question? Send it to masteryourmarriage@gmail.com — we may feature it next week!

Stay tuned for next week’s full episode where we’ll go deeper into practical tools for this work.

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Episoder(174)

Empathy: The Antidote to Contempt

Empathy: The Antidote to Contempt

We just spent two episodes looking at contempt—the number one predictor of divorce. One of the clearest takeaways is this: empathy and contempt cannot live in the same room.When contempt is operating,...

19 Aug 33min

How to Build a Contempt-Free Marriage (it's the #1 predictor of divorce!)

How to Build a Contempt-Free Marriage (it's the #1 predictor of divorce!)

Last week we named the problem: contempt is addictive, corrosive, and the #1 predictor of divorce. This week we take up the harder question—how do we actually walk away from it?We open with an honest ...

12 Aug 29min

The Addiction of Contempt

The Addiction of Contempt

In this episode, we unpack one of the most destructive forces in modern relationships: contempt.Drawing from Arthur Brooks’ book Love Your Enemies, we explore why contempt is not just a communication ...

29 Jul 31min

Breaking the Silent Treatment: How to End the Silence and Reconnect in Your Marriage

Breaking the Silent Treatment: How to End the Silence and Reconnect in Your Marriage

We’ve all heard (or said) those loaded words: “We need to talk.” For most of us, they immediately trigger defensiveness and dread. But what happens when conversations stop altogether? In this replay e...

22 Jul 24min

Defensiveness Is a Self-Esteem Problem (And How to Fix It)

Defensiveness Is a Self-Esteem Problem (And How to Fix It)

Most of us get defensive without even realizing it — and it’s one of the fastest ways connection breaks down in marriage. In this episode, we explore why defensiveness is actually a self-esteem issue ...

16 Jul 30min

How Adapting to Trauma Wires Us for Shame

How Adapting to Trauma Wires Us for Shame

This is part two of our shame series. Be sure to listen to last week's episode for an introduction into shame and how it relates to self-esteem.In this episode, we go deeper into the real reason shame...

8 Jul 29min

The Shame Cycle That’s Hurting Your Marriage

The Shame Cycle That’s Hurting Your Marriage

Most of us are walking around with a relationship to ourselves that is pretty dysfunctional — and we don’t even realize it. We bounce back and forth between shame and grandiosity, sometimes minute by ...

2 Jul 25min

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