Dating Red Flags & Deception: How to Spot Them Early & Protect Your Heart (Feat. Cray App Founder Justin Smith)

This episode is for every single person who has ever looked back on a relationship and thought – "The signs were there... why didn't I see them?"😩

Justin Smith spent years in a marriage with someone he thought he knew completely. When the truth finally surfaced, it wasn't just painful – it was the kind of disorienting, trust-shattering experience that makes you question your own judgment entirely. So instead of staying in that place, he built something — Cray — a dating safety app designed to help people spot red flags, detect deception, and verify who they're actually dealing with before they put their heart on the line.

This episode is personal, practical and hits incredibly close to home for anyone healing from betrayal❤️‍🩹

What we cover in this episode:

• Justin's personal story: The relationship that changed everything and the deception that took years to surface
• Why he went looking for red flag detection tools, found almost nothing useful, and decided to build one himself
• What Cray's tagline "vibes lie, patterns don't" means — and why it's the most important dating mindset shift you can make
• A breakdown of Cray's five reports – CrayScore™, SchemerScore™, BaeScore™, CatfishCheck, and OffenderCheck – what each one does and when to use them
• The most common red flags people miss in early dating (and why we're so prone to explaining them away)
• How insecure attachment styles make us especially vulnerable to missing warning signs (this one hits, y'all)
• Why using a tool like Cray isn't paranoia — it's self-protection
• How to use Cray as part of re-entering the dating world after a toxic or deceptive relationship

Justin built the tool he wishes he'd had. And honestly? So do I.

"Informed trust is stronger trust. Knowing who someone really is before you give them your heart isn't paranoia — it's the smartest thing you can do for yourself." — Justin Smith

🚩 Try Cray free: Run your first report at cray.app — available on iOS, Android, and the web. 🦊WIN FREE CRAY SWAG! Here's how to get in the mix: 1. Go to Instagram 2. Follow @theattachmentconfessions and @cray.app 3. "Like" this episode's post 4. Tag 3 friends in the comments 5. 3 winners will be chosen at random and announced on the next Attachment Confessions episode! 💜 Free resource: Grab the Attachment Conversation Guide for Couples — DM me on Instagram @theattachmentconfessions or email chelsea@theattachmentconfessions.com ❤️ Ready to heal your insecure attachment? Listeners get 10% off Dr. Sarah Hensley's programs at thelovedoc.com — use code CHELSEA10 at checkout. About Justin Smith:

Justin Smith is the Founder & CEO of Cray — a dating safety app that helps people identify red flags, detect manipulation and deception, and verify who they're actually meeting before the first date. Cray has been featured in Yahoo Finance, Morningstar, Global Dating Insights, and The AI Journal.

Related episodes:

• My Attachment Red Flags: The Fearful Avoidant Patterns I Ignored for Years (and finally owned up to)
• Love Bombing 101: How to Spot It, Why We Fall for It, and How to Get Out
• Attachment vs. Narcissism: How to Tell the Difference — and Why It Matters for Your Healing