After 46 Years, the Prison Still Smelled Like Fear - AA Speaker - Johnnie H.

Johnnie returned to the Folsom cell where he had lived 46 years earlier, then crossed the old mess hall to carry the Alcoholics Anonymous message to 300 prisoners: you don’t have to live like this anymore.

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Nearly 45 years sober, Johnnie delivers a funny, forceful AA talk about singleness of purpose, service, sponsorship, home groups, and promises that only materialize through action. He traces his path from drinking at nine, repeated imprisonment, a courtroom collapse, and solitary confinement to the desperate request for God’s help that eventually brought an AA member into his life. That man did not diagnose or condemn him; he said he understood and told Johnnie he did not have to live that way anymore. Although Johnnie studied the Big Book in prison, his sponsor taught him how to live it by arriving early, staying late, washing cups, sweeping floors, making coffee, helping newcomers, and showing up consistently for a home group. He also remembers losing a possible opportunity with the St. Louis Cardinals because drinking took over again, returning decades later to his former Folsom cell, and carrying the message to hundreds of men sitting where he once sat. Through family loss, business failures, depression, and difficult sober years, Johnnie found his safe harbor in meetings and service. His conclusion is that sobriety itself is not the final payoff; the payoff is watching another person return from the land of the living dead and seeing the light come back into their eyes.

Johnnie H. from Los Angeles, CA speaking at "The Promises and Service" 2-day convention in Stockholm, Sweden - May 29th 2004 Music: Deep by KaizanBlu