06- "Secrets of Healthy Relationships and How to Deal with Criticism" with Dr. Warren Farrell

"Secrets of Healthy Relationships and how to deal with criticism" with Dr. Warren Farrell

Summary

In this episode, Warren Farrell, a New York Times bestselling author and an expert in couples’ communication with over 30 years of experience, shares the wisdom of how not to be defensive in response to criticism and how to sustain lasting love.

Dr. Warren is known as a pioneer in both the women’s movement (having been the only man elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC) and has also been called by GQ magazine “The Martin Luther King of the men’s movement”. His books, including "Why Men Are the Way They Are" and "The Myth of Male Power", have become international bestsellers.

Warren has been interviewed multiple times by Oprah, Barbara Walters, Larry King, Tucker Carlson, Charlie Rose, Jordan Peterson, and many others, and has been the subject of two special features on ABC’s 20/20.

In this podcast, we discuss Warren’s new book called "Role Mate to Soul Mate", where he provides a practical roadmap on how to feel more deeply loved, avoid defensiveness in response to criticism, and cultivate more harmonious and lasting relationships, drawing on his over 30 years of experience teaching couples and psychotherapists through his accompanying online course.

In this podcast, Warren shares several of his Seven Secrets to Lifelong Love, and how to transform the "Four Depleters of Love" (Criticisms, Complaining, Complacency, and Controlling), as well as how to play together, because “couples that play together stay together”. His book guides couples on how to do this for two hours per week as a “Caring and Sharing Practice.” For the other 166 hours, couples create a “Conflict-Free Zone”, which requires preventing criticisms from becoming conflicts.

His book "The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It", which he co-authored with John Grey, has gained significant attention in recent years.

In 2009, Farrell received a call from the White House requesting him to be an advisor to the White House Council on Women and Girls, which led him to create and chair a commission of a White House Council on Boys and Men’s issues.

Dr. Farrell’s passion is to help couples rediscover and sustain their “sole mate spark” and keep families together in true loving union, preventing the serious side effects of divorce that can adversely affect kids and ultimately society as a whole.

Dr. Warren Farrell discusses the secrets of healthy relationships and the connection between his books 'The Role-Mate to Soulmate' and 'The Boy Crisis'. He emphasizes the importance of appreciation in relationships and the need to pan for our partner's gold. Criticism and fear are natural but can be detrimental to love. He suggests altering our natural defensive response to criticism and creating a conflict-free zone. Men and women express vulnerability differently, with women becoming stronger when they ask for help and men feeling more vulnerable when they express vulnerability. In this conversation, Warren Farrell discusses the importance of listening and understanding in relationships. He explains how the problem-solving skills that are valued in the workplace can be detrimental in romantic relationships, as women often just want to be heard and not have their problems solved. He emphasizes the need for men to listen without immediately offering solutions and highlights the importance of creating a safe environment for vulnerability. Farrell also shares stories about John Lennon and his own experiences with relationships. He discusses the need for a White House Council on Boys and Men and the challenges faced in addressing boys' and men's issues.

https://warrenfarrell.com/

email: warren@warrenfarrell.com

https://www.youtube.com/user/drwarrenfarrell