Match Calamity with Serenity - AA Speaker - Mary T.

At 19 years sober, Mary realized she knew the Big Book well enough to keep everyone away from her, and AA asked her to trade a God of reason for a God she could trust as a friend.

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Mary, 34 years sober, traces her Alcoholics Anonymous story from a proper but emotionally distant New England upbringing through boarding school drinking, an abusive marriage, blackouts, single motherhood, and a move to Southern California intended to outrun her reputation. Her daughter’s babysitter lived with a woman in AA who quietly watched Mary’s drinking progress for a year and a half before inviting her to an open meeting. There, an old-timer’s story broke through Mary’s defenses, a hug and the words “welcome home” gave her permission to feel, and 17 yes answers on the 20 questions finally allowed her to recognize her alcoholism. Early recovery brought difficult withdrawal, constant meetings, Big Book study, sponsorship, and a woman who called herself Mary’s temporary sponsor for the next 25 years. After moving back to Maine with five years sober, Mary started a Big Book meeting and became deeply knowledgeable about the program, but eventually discovered that knowledge itself had become another barrier. At 18 or 19 years sober, she was more frightened than when she arrived because she could quote the book while keeping people at a distance. Mary describes how teachability, inventory, service, grief work, and an evolving relationship with God changed her recovery again. Her message is not that long-term sobriety prevents trials; it is that a growing spiritual life allows an alcoholic to meet those trials with honesty, trust, courage, humility, and enough reliance on God to match calamity with serenity.

Mary T. from Santa Fe, NM speaking at The 42nd Annual New Hampshire Convention in North Conway, NH - April 12th 2008 Music: Deep by KaizanBlu