EP #82 Lauren Hope Cleveland, From Uniforms to Unicorns

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Lauren, Corrections Officer

In 2004, I applied for a job as a Primary Worker at Edmonton Institution for Women. Little did I know that they call Correctional Officers - Primary Workers in the Women's Prisons. (Give me a break - I was 22 years old, the internet barely existed and I was under the impression that this was a casework position). After realizing what I signed up for - I decided to be brave and go for it!

I was fortunate to do the job for 8 years, but after the birth of my second son I just knew that my heart was no longer in it! I was angry, jaded and struggling with some pretty big demons. I spent a lot of time distracting, drinking to numb the emotions and filling my time was chaos, so that I would never have a moment to sit and think about it! Because when things got quiet, still and somber the feelings would creep up - and feelings and uncertainty in those emotions meant weakness to me! Naming, taming, and understanding my pain, suffering, and emotional dis-regulation was a game changer in my life.

It was fucking hard.

Lauren, Wife & Mother

I am grateful for these men! Each one of them plays a special role in my life. Here's the truth - I did not always want to be a wife and mom. I'm kind of a wild card. I don't follow rules and I hate being told what to do - (and then my husband decides to become a police officer. I still bend the rules - I just don't break the law). It's actually a very fun dynamic.

My husband is my biggest supporter, my most loyal fan and the person that I go to with all my crazy ideas. He humours me, talks sense into me, and forces me to take things down a few notches from time to time.