1818 || apologies vs. repair

1818 || apologies vs. repair

Sometimes the kindest and wisest thing you can do in a relationship is clearly and concisely distance yourself from it until you figure out how to navigate it more appropriately.


To develop a robust grief process we must 1. Mourn what is lost. 2. Name what is good. 3. Release what was not.


Stepping back, creating distance, and taking space are crucial aspects to the healing process.


There is huge difference between a well intentioned apology and real long term repair. If you have a conflict or suffer from a betrayal your brain and body can’t just lean into a well worded and well intentioned apology as a bandaid for all of the harm that was caused. I wish words were enough but that’s like saying a broken arm can be healed with a diagnosis. Just because the X-Ray says you have a broken arm it doesn't solve the problem. The diagnosis is a great start to healing properly, but it doesn’t mean the work stops there. You’ve got to prove to your brain and body that you’re not going to let this get worse, happen again, and you’re going to behave differently now so you can create a safe space to relax and heal properly, which takes time.


SOURCES:

IG THETRAUMAEDUCATOR

IG CHRISTABELMINTAHNWANKWO

IG KINZERMB

IG AMYTHELIFECOACH


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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Episoder(1929)

1898 || the rest is unwritten, the pen's in your hand

1898 || the rest is unwritten, the pen's in your hand

We don't notice the progress because it's everywhere. We notice the terrible stuff because of cognitive biases, which is fair. But doomerism is a dangerous and slippery slope. Practice intentional, co...

9 Nov 9min

1897 || doomerism is dead

1897 || doomerism is dead

Choosing to look at the future as something you have a say in, is punk as fuck. Meliorism: The belief that the human condition can be improved through concerted effort.The belief that there is an inhe...

8 Nov 11min

1896 || stop trying to earn love

1896 || stop trying to earn love

True safety doesn't come from a partner promising they will never hurt you (a promise no human can permanently guarantee). True safety comes from promising yourself that if your boundaries are crossed...

6 Nov 10min

1895 || dumbasses deserve love, too

1895 || dumbasses deserve love, too

I’ve been thinking a lot about trust and consideration and love. Naturally, I’ve been very bitter about some things going on in my personal life and it convinced me for a second there that I didn’t lo...

5 Nov 9min

1894 || don't cosign your fears + insecurities

1894 || don't cosign your fears + insecurities

When you’re afraid of someone else judging you, you are only afraid of the confirmation of things you already believe about yourself. I am never offended by a claim I know is untrue. You can call me a...

4 Nov 10min

1893 || how + why to vote if you haven't

1893 || how + why to vote if you haven't

"War doesn't end when one side dies, it ends when one side surrenders. If you have given up, it's already over. When you understand a system, what it feeds on, you can see there a lot of ways to chang...

3 Nov 9min

1892 || intentional friction

1892 || intentional friction

Modern design demands that your brain should constantly focus on productivity, metrics, optimization, and achievement. In late-stage consumerism, convenience is sold as a tool to save you time. But wh...

2 Nov 9min

1891 || spirit of the goal vs. the reward

1891 || spirit of the goal vs. the reward

Humans will always focus on the easiest path towards positive feedback (or avoiding negative feedback). We love a little treat. If we're not careful (and we forget the human element), we will get so f...

1 Nov 10min

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