The Cost of Perfectionism, People Pleasing & Craving Control on Chronic Illness (ft. Kati Morton, LMFT)

This week on Calling in Sick, I'm sitting down with Kati Morton, LMFT — licensed marriage and family therapist, author of Why Do I Keep Doing This, Traumatized, and Are U Ok?, and one of the most trusted voices in accessible mental health online with 1.5 million YouTube subscribers. This Monday, we're diving into: 🧠 The psychology of control — why humans are wired to need it, why chronic illness amplifies that need to a dangerous degree, and what happens in the brain and body when it's taken away 😤 The maladaptive ways control shows up in chronic illness patients — and why most of us don't even recognize them as control behaviors 🛠️ The CBT tools that actually help If you have ever found yourself white-knuckling your routine, your diet, your relationships, or your work schedule while your body does whatever it wants… this episode is going to explain so much. 🤍 xx, Alex 💬 Comment: What is the ONE area of your life where you notice the need for control showing up the most? TIMESTAMPS: 00:00:47 Intro to the Psychology of Control with guest Kati Morton The Need for Control & Chronic Illness: 00:01:20 The illusion of control and body responses 00:05:51 Duality and processing freeze energy vs. toxic positivity Maladaptive Control Coping Scenarios: 00:11:37 Breakdown of people pleasing behaviors 00:14:26 Perfectionism and “earning worth” 00:20:00 Eating disorders, exercise addiction, and lifestyle rigidity 00:25:51 All-or-nothing thinking cycles Relational Control & Caregiver Dynamics: 00:26:50 The social impacts of chronic illness (e.g. canceling plans and how it impacts you AND others) 00:29:48 Why caregivers get burnt out 00:36:06 Catching anxiety before the fight, flight, or freeze state Healing and Coping Tools: 00:38:29 The "Inner Detective" reframe and addressing past trauma 00:49:12 Reprogramming the brain's negativity bias 00:54:27 CBT tool: "Play it Out" (Worst, best, and most likely case) 00:57:32 Somatic releases and moving out of freeze mode Conclusion: 01:00:00 One Brain Cell Show: Ted Lasso, Gilmore Girls, and some good reads 01:04:32 Connect with Kati Morton online 01:05:47 Thank you for listening! ---------------------------------------------------------------- Stay connected and follow us on socials for more! • Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/callinginsickpod/ • TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@callinginsickpod • Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61558234607568 • Substack - https://substack.com/@callinginsickpod? Connect with our guest, Kati Morton! • Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/katimorton/ • TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton • YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/KatiMorton • Podcast (Ask Kati Anything) - https://www.youtube.com/@askkatianything • Website - https://katimorton.com/ • Buy her latest book here - https://amzn.to/3RYiSDG ---------------------------------------------------------------- Powered by: Just Media House -- https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Produced by: Alexandra Wildeson — https://www.instagram.com/alexandrawildeson/ #ChronicIllnessAndControl #MentalHealth #ChronicIllness #KatiMorton #PeoplePleasing #Perfectionism #CBT #TherapyTools #ChronicIllnessMentalHealth #InvisibleIllness #SpoonieLife #EatingDisorders #ExerciseAddiction #PassiveAggression #CopingMechanisms #ChronicPain #Anxiety #TherapyTikTok #CallingInSickPodcast #AlexWildeson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices