Episode 65: Mother-in- law series: Creating New Traditions

The Mother-in-Law Series: New Traditions

Welcome to week four of the Mother-in-Law Series. If you haven't caught the earlier episodes, go back and start with weddings. And if you're new here, one of the women I interviewed said something I keep coming back to: joining a family is like moving to another country. You don't know the customs, the language, or the traditions. So we get to decide, will we be the friendly local, or border control?

This week is about new traditions, and why welcoming someone in means more than folding her into the way things have always been done.

In this episode:

• Seeing a daughter-in-law's arrival as a gain instead of a loss, and how that shifts everything else
• The Christmas stocking and matching pajamas story: small effort, huge message
• A mother-in-law with only sons who started making Easter bonnets with her daughters-in-law
• Holding the purpose of a tradition tightly and the format loosely, including how our Christmas date, our vacations, and even our old scripture study tradition have evolved over the years
• Releasing the ledger: why things don't have to be even, and why scorekeeping adds stress instead of connection
• Honoring her family too, including a story about getting to know my son-in-law's family before he and my daughter moved to DC
• Brookefest, my own tradition of one-on-one time with each of my kids and their spouses, and other ideas for building a relationship that's just between the two of you

My question for you this week: what tradition might you need to bend to be more accommodating, and what new one could you start?

Next week is the final episode in this series, and it's for anyone whose relationship already feels hard. If that's you, don't miss it.

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