Can You Heal a Friendship You Keep Burning Down? (Laura McKowen)
co-regulation31 Jul 2025

Can You Heal a Friendship You Keep Burning Down? (Laura McKowen)

Holly and Laura sit down for their first public conversation in seven years, since the abrupt end of their previous podcast, Home, after a falling out. Peeling back the layers of what is, for each of them, their most complicated creative partnership and friendship. What started as two women finding each other on Instagram in 2013, who wanted to talk about sobriety and alcohol, became the wildly successful Home Podcast, a deep friendship, and eventually a painful, public dissolution that left both women changed forever. Now, after multiple reconciliations and breakups, they've found their way back to each other—not as business partners or co-hosts, but as friends who've done the hard work of growing up. This raw conversation explores the messy intersection of trauma, creativity, competition, and love, offering a rare glimpse into what it looks like when two people refuse to give up on each other despite repeatedly hurting each other in the process.



Topics covered

Meeting on Instagram in early sobriety; the birth of Home Podcast in 2015; being two women talking about recovery in ways no one else was; rapid success and community building; the impossible dynamics of creative partnership between two traumatized people; patterns of competition and jealousy; the first breakup and reconciliation; the final dissolution of Home Podcast in January 2018; years of mutual obsession and surveillance from afar; failed attempts at reunion around book launches; the role of public success and private failure; learning to see each other's survival mechanisms; cord-cutting ceremonies and spiritual interventions; multiple cycles of coming together and falling apart; the 2025 reconciliation weekend; the difference between creative partnership and friendship; aging out of ambition; post-material achievement disillusionment; trauma responses that look like abuse; the challenge of being seen accurately; the rare gift of creative collaboration; narcissistic abuse patterns; the cost of cutting people off; what it means to grow up in public.



Bio

Laura is the author of the bestselling memoir, We Are The Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life and Push Off From Here: Nine Essential Truths to Get You Through Life (and Everything Else), March 2023. She's working on her third book. She has written for The New York Times and has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, The Guardian, The Atlantic, the TODAY show, and more. In 2020, she founded The Luckiest Club, a global sobriety support community. Laura lives with her daughter on the North Shore of Boston and writes the stellar newsletter Love Story.



Credits

Original music by Gracie Coates (of Gracie and Rachel) @graciecoates @gracieandrachel on Instagram, gracieandrachel.com

Sound engineering, editor: Adam Day, adamdayphotography.com

Producers: Holly Whitaker, Adam Day

Original art by Misha Handschumacher, cmisha.com


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Episoder(15)

A pause; a new book; an upcoming series on ADHD and addiction

A pause; a new book; an upcoming series on ADHD and addiction

TL;DR: we're wrapping co-regulation Season 1 and releasing future episodes on Holly's Substack, Recovering.Access new episodes and more by going to newsletter.hollywhitaker.com or clicking here to sig...

28 Sep 20258min

Why Sky Fusco Doesn't Want a Boyfriend (Sky Fusco)

Why Sky Fusco Doesn't Want a Boyfriend (Sky Fusco)

Sky Fusco and Holly wrestle with fundamental questions about the role of the artist in times of crisis: Who gets to claim the title of artist? Is making art "enough" or should creative people abandon ...

4 Sep 20251h 15min

Your Phone or Your Life? (Cody Cook-Parrott)

Your Phone or Your Life? (Cody Cook-Parrott)

Holly and author Cody Cook-Parrott dive headfirst into the raw realities of staying regulated in an unregulated world. Cody shares their journey from near-mental breakdown to thriving queer rural life...

28 Aug 20251h 9min

How To Stop Thinking Everyone Is Always Mad at You (Meg Josephson, Part 2)

How To Stop Thinking Everyone Is Always Mad at You (Meg Josephson, Part 2)

In the second part of Holly's deep dive with Meg Josephson, they shift from understanding fawning to working with it. Continuing their exploration of Meg's book "Are You Mad At Me?", the conversation ...

14 Aug 20251h 4min

 Why We Think Everyone Is Always Mad at Us (Meg Josephson, Part 1)

Why We Think Everyone Is Always Mad at Us (Meg Josephson, Part 1)

Part 2 of this is available now on patreon for patrons of this show! Check us out here.In this first installment of a two-part series with therapist Meg Josephson, Holly and Meg unpack the fawn trauma...

7 Aug 202559min

Why Christianity Is Still Calling Women Whores 2000 Years Later (Meggan Watterson)

Why Christianity Is Still Calling Women Whores 2000 Years Later (Meggan Watterson)

Holly reunites with her friend, feminist theologian Meggan Watterson, to discuss her new book The Girl Who Baptized Herself Their conversation moves between Watterson's childhood religious trauma, ac...

24 Jul 20251h 37min

Why Soothing Your Nervous System IS Managing the Crisis (Erica Chidi)

Why Soothing Your Nervous System IS Managing the Crisis (Erica Chidi)

Erica Chidi shares her unique perspective on navigating crisis and uncertainty, drawing from her formative years in post-apartheid South Africa and her work as a doula, author, and founder. She discus...

17 Jul 20251h 20min

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