The 12 Principles That Actually Keep You Sober

The 12 Principles That Actually Keep You Sober

Working the steps gets you sober. Living the principles keeps you there. All 12 — and why they hold.

My mentor asks me one question: "How are you living today, Anthony?" It's easy to be a star in the rooms — shake hands, smile, say everything's great. But the magic is in the other 99% of life: the traffic, the argument, the boring Wednesday afternoon. Step 12 says to practice these principles in all our affairs, and this episode is about what that actually looks like day to day.

Addiction ran on dishonesty, isolation, and being the center of my own universe. Recovery didn't work because I white-knuckled that old system harder — it worked because I started running a new one. That's what the principles are. And they keep you sober almost mechanically: you can't be honest, connected, of service, and paying attention, and also be quietly walking toward a relapse. Those two things can't run at the same time.

I walk all twelve — what each one is, what it costs, and why living it keeps you from picking up. Take what works, leave the rest. There's no official list of these; this is the version I've lived with.

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Episoder(139)

Surrender in Recovery — Why Letting Go Isn't Giving Up

Surrender in Recovery — Why Letting Go Isn't Giving Up

Surrender sounded like giving up — until it became the thing that finally let me stop losing.For years I thought surrender meant waving the white flag: defeat, quitting, rolling over. My ego hated it....

27 Aug 15min

10 Things Alcoholics Do That Normal Drinkers Don't

10 Things Alcoholics Do That Normal Drinkers Don't

Ten things I thought were normal until I got sober — supply math, pre-gaming, the morning panic. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a guy who did all ten of these, and didn't realize nobody else was living li...

22 Aug 19min

The Hidden Opportunities in Recovery (The Wins Nobody Claps For)

The Hidden Opportunities in Recovery (The Wins Nobody Claps For)

The wins nobody claps for are the ones that built your recovery. Here are the hidden ones.We throw parties for the first sober birthday and the first sober holiday. But nobody warns you about the firs...

20 Aug 24min

10 Weird Things My Alcoholic Brain Does in Recovery

10 Weird Things My Alcoholic Brain Does in Recovery

Ten weird things my alcoholic brain still does in recovery — and why none of them run my life anymore.I've been in recovery since 2015. I relapsed around seven and a half years in, and I'm back — a ye...

18 Aug 20min

Everything I Knew About Getting Sober Was Wrong (10 Myths)

Everything I Knew About Getting Sober Was Wrong (10 Myths)

Ten recovery myths that keep people stuck — from someone sober again after a hard relapse. Almost everything I thought I knew about getting sober turned out to be wrong, and some of it nearly cost me ...

15 Aug 23min

Staying Sober While Travelling, the Strivers' Curse & "We Could Have Missed It All"

Staying Sober While Travelling, the Strivers' Curse & "We Could Have Missed It All"

CHEF DEV IS BACK...A counsellor once asked Devan: what's wrong with the way you feel? This is that conversation. Chef Devan Rajkumar Today, he travels and cooks across different cities, constantly lea...

13 Aug 49min

The 5 Reactions to “I Don’t Drink” And How to Handle Them

The 5 Reactions to “I Don’t Drink” And How to Handle Them

What happens when you tell people you're sober — and how to handle every reaction.Getting sober is one job. Telling people you're sober is a completely separate one — and it never really ends. New par...

11 Aug 20min

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