Talk To A Stranger—It’s Good For You

We often underestimate how much small talk can impact our wellbeing. Research shows that even brief conversations with strangers can boost our happiness and sense of connection, but fear and anxiety often keep us from reaching out.

Summary: We often avoid talking to strangers because we assume they’d rather be left alone, or worry the interaction will be awkward. But research shows that our expectations about these interactions are often wrong. Even brief conversations can make us happier and more connected. On this episode of The Science of Happiness, learn how small choices like saying hello, asking a question, or offering a compliment can help us overcome our hesitation and create meaningful moments of connection.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Notice an opportunity: Throughout your day, look for moments when you’re near someone you don’t know—a person on public transit, in line at a coffee shop, or walking through your neighborhood.
2. Put away your phone: Create a little more space for connection by taking out your earbuds or putting your phone away, rather than using it to avoid interacting with the people around you.
3. Take the first step: When you notice an opportunity, say hello, introduce yourself, or ask a simple question. You don’t need the perfect opening—just get the conversation started.
4. Ask a follow-up question: Show genuine curiosity about the other person. Ask about something they’ve mentioned and let the conversation unfold naturally.
5. Share something about yourself: Connection goes both ways. Offer a little about your own experiences, interests, or perspective so the conversation becomes a two-way exchange.
6. Try it again: Pay attention to how you feel afterward, then look for another opportunity to connect. Treat it as an experiment and practice making small choices that bring you closer to the people around you.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

CHRIS FUJINAKA HEIN is a community organizer in the Bay Area and a coordinator at a Japanese cultural senior center.

NICHOLAS EPLEY is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.

Learn more about Nicholas Epley here: https://www.nicholasepley.com/

Related Science of Happiness episodes:

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/mrxsad33

When It's Hard To Connect, Try Being Curious: https://tinyurl.com/mr32nwtv

Related Happiness Break episodes:

A Meditation on Original Love and Interconnectedness:https://tinyurl.com/mu2uzs2c

Our Deep Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/y2epxyxn

Message us or leave a comment on Instagram @scienceofhappinesspod. E-mail us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

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Transcription: