1845 || from rock bottom to healing

Part of me wants to beat a bitch's ass and part of me wants to shut down completely. This conflict makes us feel bad for feeling bad. We have to learn how to integrate these conflicting feelings. Mental housekeeping is a crucial part of the process.

"We all go through the healing cycle many times in our lives. It is inevitable that we may be disappointed by others' or by our own behavior at times. The forgiveness process offers a method of doing "emotional and mental housecleaning", of cleaning up the residues left by this. At first this may mean cleaning our emotional and mental household of the residue of many years of neglected accumulations of distress. It may seem like a big task to some, at the outset. However it can usually be done within a few months. Looking back once it has been done, it does not seem to large as it did at the outset. The amount of time required is probably less than one thirty thousandth part of your life time. Most of us will spend more time drinking tea or coffee than that, certainly more time sleeping! Just for a while, you will need to give it some priority. Most of us will spend more money on maintaining our motor vehicles that on maintaining our most precious possession - our sacred consciousness, our "hearts". It is always important to review how we have rank-ordered our values, and pain, tension, and disease are alerting signals when it is time to do that."

The healing journey is not linear and it exists in many forms. The healing journey outlined by the Buddhist Library is:

1. HURT.
2. FEAR OR ANGER.
3. FEAR AND ANGER GIVE RISE TO CONFLICTS.
4. LOSS OF LOVE FOR SELF AND/OR OTHERS.
5. ACTIVATION OF THE DEATH OR ILLNESS WISH.
6. LIFT IN LIFE ENERGY.
7. DECISION TO GET WELL WHATEVER THAT MEANS, WHATEVER IT TAKES.
8. DECISION TO FORGIVE/ FORGIVENESS PROCESS.
9. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
10. HEALING AND UNDERSTANDING.
11. WHOLENESS AND HEALTH/ BEING TRUE TO ONE’S SELF.

SOURCES:

1. https://heroinejourneys.com/healing-journey/
2. https://www.alchemyofthought.com/blog/heroines-vs-heros-journey
3. https://www.abuddhistlibrary.com
4. https://heroinejourneys.com/heroines-journey/
5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroine%27s_journey
6. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hero%27s_journey

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