019 - You Don't Have To Do This Alone: A Conversation for Male Caregivers (with Wayne Herring and Kevin Olmsted)

Episode 019

Title: You Don't Have To Do This Alone: A Conversation for Male Caregivers (with Wayne Herring and Kevin Olmsted)

In this episode, Jenni Gaines and Laura Cohen sit down with Kevin Olmsted and Wayne Herring, co-facilitators of Men of FEAST and fathers who each supported a daughter through an eating disorder and into recovery. Kevin, who left his career in the wine business to become a full-time caregiver during his daughter's seven-year recovery journey, and Wayne, a business and life coach who navigated a crisis hospitalization at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, share the distinct roles they each played and the emotions they carried — fear, hopelessness, failure, and grief over what their daughters lost. Together they give listeners a genuine look inside Men of FEAST, a virtual support group for dads and other male caregivers, and explain what makes it different: the permission it gives men to be present, to be honest, and to ask for help. Listeners will come away with a clear message from two men who have been through it: you don't have to face this alone, and recovery is possible.

00:00 Introduction and Disclaimer

01:02 Guest Introductions: Wayne Herring and Kevin Olmsted

03:31 Wayne's Journey: From Talk Therapy to CHOP

08:16 Kevin's Journey: An Overnight PhD in Eating Disorders

12:37 Day-to-Day Roles in Recovery

18:36 Identity, Roles, and the Male Caregiver Experience

27:29 What They Wish Someone Had Said Earlier

30:56 Fear, Failure, and Mourning What Was Lost

35:47 What Is Men of FEAST?

39:23 Permission, Progress, and the Power of Peer Support

42:41 Encouraging Male Caregivers: Don't Leave the Room

45:26 Closing Thoughts: Hope and the Possibility of Recovery

SUPPORT & RESOURCES

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

FEAST website:

https://feast-ed.org/

FEAST programs and services:

https://feast-ed.org/programs-and-services/

Men of FEAST:

https://feast-ed.org/men-of-feast/

Kevin Olmsted's memoir, Scared Dad Feeding:

https://www.scareddadfeeding.com/

Guest Bios:

Kevin Olmsted lives in Northern California with his wife of thirty-four years and is the father of two adult children, including a daughter now seven years into recovery from anorexia. A longtime member and co-host of Men of FEAST, Kevin left his career in the wine business seven years ago to serve as a full-time caregiver during his daughter's recovery. He is also the author of Scared Dad Feeding, a self-published memoir about his family's experience navigating his daughter's illness and recovery, and is frequently sought out by other families facing similar challenges.

Wayne Herring lives on a twenty-acre farm in rural Pennsylvania with his family, where they raise pigs and cows. He is the father of five children, including a daughter who has recovered from anorexia. Wayne helped found Men of FEAST alongside other parents and now serves as a co-facilitator, drawing on both his lived experience as a caregiver and his work as a business and life coach to support other male caregivers. He is also an avid runner and lifelong learner who describes himself as grateful every day for his daughter's recovery.