Hoovering: When They Try to Pull You Back In

Today's episode is not about vacuums I promise! I'm diving into something called, "Hoovering". It's when a person sucks you back into a relationship or into contact. This is used many times if you have left that relationship or set boundaries.

It can look like a promise to change, getting counseling, coming clean, or finding religion.

They may try to woo you back with gifts, flowers, or reminding you of loving past memories.

They may recruit family and friends into the mix by sharing how much they changed and if they can help get you back.

Promises are not the same as sustained change. Time will prove if they have changed. As an example:

Are they doing what they said they would? Such as going to therapy?

Involved in church?

Stopped drinking/drugs?

Gotten a stable job?

What can you do?

Take time to think, seek support, and consider what has actually happened over the course of the relationship.

Remind yourself why you created distance in the first place.

Talk with a domestic violence advocate or licensed counselor for advice and/or creating a safety plan.

I know it may be hard but love, history, and hope do not erase the importance of your safety.

Stay safe and God bless,

Mel

Find help and info here-

National Domestic Violence Hotline- ⁠⁠https://www.thehotline.org/⁠⁠

Safe Horizon- ⁠⁠https://www.safehorizon.org/⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/national-global-organizations/international-organizations

Sexual Assault Hotline- ⁠⁠https://www.rainn.org/⁠⁠

Abused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. ⁠⁠http://www.adwas.org/⁠⁠

Suicide prevention- ⁠⁠https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/⁠⁠

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)