The Anxiety Loop: Why the Things That Calm You Down Can Keep You Stuck

The Anxiety Loop: Why the Things That Calm You Down Can Keep You Stuck

Why does the anxiety keep coming back, even after you've checked, Googled, asked for reassurance, or prepared for every possible outcome? This week on Healing Is My Hobby, Jessica Colarco, LCSW, continues the October anxiety series by breaking down the anxiety loop: a cycle she sees constantly in her therapy practice.

Using everyday examples like an unanswered text, a strange body sensation, and the urge to triple-check an email, Jessica explains how anxiety moves from trigger to prediction to discomfort to relief, and why that relief can quietly teach your brain that you couldn't have handled the uncertainty on your own. You'll learn what CBT calls safety behaviors, including the less obvious ones like overthinking, overpreparing, procrastinating, and seeking reassurance. You'll also learn how high-functioning anxiety can look a lot like competence from the outside.

Most importantly, you'll learn a gentle, non-perfectionistic way to start loosening the loop by building tolerance for uncertainty one small choice at a time, without ripping away every coping strategy you have.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• The five steps of the anxiety loop and why short-term relief keeps it going
• What safety behaviors are, from obvious avoidance to sneaky ones like Googling, rehearsing, and reviewing past decisions
• How thinking itself can become a safety behavior, and the difference between problem-solving and searching for certainty
• Why reassurance has a short shelf life when anxiety is driving the conversation
• How anxiety can look like productivity, preparedness, and being "the dependable one"
• How procrastination and avoidance teach your brain that avoidance equals relief
• The key question: "What is this teaching my brain?"
• Small ways to build uncertainty tolerance, like waiting 10 minutes before checking or rereading an email one fewer time
• Why you don't have to feel safe before you act, and how that differs from forcing yourself

This Week's Practice:

Catch just one anxiety loop. Write down what happened, what you predicted, what you felt, what you did to get relief, and whether it helped temporarily. Then ask: what did that response teach my brain? No judgment. You're just gathering information.

Reflection Question:

When I feel the urge to check, ask, Google, avoid, or overthink, what am I hoping it will give me: information, connection, preparation, or certainty?

Key Takeaway:

Relief and safety aren't always the same thing. Sometimes the thing that gives you immediate relief is also teaching anxiety that you couldn't have handled the discomfort without it, and you can learn something different.

Coming Up Next Week:

We close out the October anxiety series with thoughts versus facts. Jessica covers predictions versus possibilities, and how to challenge an anxious thought without forcing positive thinking.

Free Resource:

Download the free Your Personal Care Plan in Jessica's resource library at heal.jessicacolarcolcsw.com

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