75: Maintaining Relationship Attraction

After 43 years together and more than 40 years of marriage, David asks Julie a question on camera: "Are you still attracted to me?" Her honest answer starts a conversation about how attraction really works in a long-term relationship. It rises and falls, it changes as we age, and it takes effort to keep.

Julie Bulitt, a family therapist, and David Bulitt, a divorce and family lawyer, talk about what drew them to each other when they met in 1983 and what keeps that pull alive now. They cover the everyday things that make a partner more attractive, the behaviors that turn us off, and why feeling seen, safe, and respected matters so much to desire. They also explain the Gottman Institute's 5 to 1 ratio, which says it takes five positive interactions to balance a single criticism, and why small moments of noticing work like bricks in a wall.

To finish, the Bulitts answer listener questions. They share what each of them finds sexy about the other, whether couples can get too comfortable, and how important it is to feel desired at any age. Relationships are not self-driving cars. They are manual transmission, and you have to keep your hands on the wheel.

What You'll Learn:
• Why attraction ebbs and flows in long-term relationships, and why that's normal
• How feeling seen, valued, and safe builds attraction and intimacy
• The Gottman 5 to 1 ratio and how small acts of appreciation strengthen connection
• The warning signs couples miss when they get too comfortable
• How desire changes with age, and how it can stay strong in new ways

About the Hosts:
Julie Bulitt is a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist with more than 30 years of experience. David Bulitt is a divorce and family lawyer with more than 35 years of experience. Married for over 40 years, they bring both professional insight and personal experience to every conversation.

🌐 Website: https://thebulitts.com/
📱 Follow: @TheBulitts

Julie is not your therapist and David is not your lawyer. This podcast is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only.