Ep. 4: Accept to Grow

Relationships are hard, and making them last is even harder. Today we’re exploring how we can be happier and healthier in all of our relationships with a wonderful clinician, teacher, and researcher: Dr. Stan Tatkin. About our Guest: Dr. Stan Tatkin is an expert on human behavior, and particularly the unique dynamics found in couples relationships. He’s the creator of PACT: the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, and the author of six bestselling books, including Wired for Love and We Do. Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:45: The importance of attachment.  5:30: What happens when children are neglected? 9:00: Finding safety in our relationships. 13:30: How to build safety through physical cues.  19:10: Apology, and building a culture in our relationships. 23:00: Finding common principles.  31:00: Dealbreakers, and entering relationships intentionally. 37:00: Fairness in our relationships.  45:30: Being and staying interested. 49:15: Trusting your partner’s experience.  54:50: The most important characteristics in a life partner. 57:00: What’s the most important thing you do each day for your own well-being? 58:30: A message to your younger self. 1:00:00: Recap Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Feb 20211h 5min

We generally focus on topics related to mental health, but there's nothing like a pandemic to throw the importance of our physical health into sharp relief! Today Forrest is joined by Dr. Tim Spector to explore the importance of personalizing your nutrition, how our diet can help fight COVID, and why most everything we've been told about food is wrong.  About Our Guest: Dr. Tim Spector is professor of genetic epidemiology and Director of the TwinsUK Registry at Kings College, London. He’s also one of the leaders of the COVID Symptom Study, and one of the founders of the health science company Zoe . He's the author of The Diet Myth, and his most recent book is  Spoon-Fed: Why Almost Everything We’ve Been Told about Food is Wrong. Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:05: What is the microbiome? 4:10: How diet interacts with your unique microbiome.  6:45: The PREDICT 1 study, and the limited impact of genetics. 9:30: Why personalized nutrition is so important. 12:00: The meaningless nature of calorie counts.  17:00: Running experiments with your nutrition.  22:30: Microbes and mood. 24:40: Intermittent fasting.  30:15: The role of processed food.  35:15: The microbiome and COVID.  41:00: Polyphenols.  43:00: Vitamins and COVID.  48:50: Recap If you're interested in any of Zoe's offerings, Tim offered the discount code BEINGWELL35 for our listeners. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Feb 202157min

There are times in our lives when we recognize that something’s got to change. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore a big question: What goes into making who we are, and how can we give ourselves the freedom to grow and change over time?  Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts during this FREE three-day online event to explore our life after COVID. Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 2:00: What does “self-concept” mean? 6:00: Where does self-concept come from? 11:30: Different ways to understand childhood development. 17:00: Why is it so hard for people to change?  26:00: Social forces that prevent us from changing. 33:00: Three case studies of personal change.  34:00: Who owns the problem? 38:30: Do you really want it? 44:30: We can change if we’re willing to take risks. 52:00: Trusting yourself, and feeling validated.  Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Feb 20211h 20min

Tara Brach joins Rick and Forrest to explore how we can find more compassion and acceptance while maintaining our motivation to change ourselves, and our world, in positive ways.  About Our Guest: Tara is the founder and guiding teacher of the Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C., and has a doctorate in clinical psychology. She is the author of three books: Radical Acceptance, True Refuge, and most recently Radical Compassion, and leads one of the largest mental-health and Buddhism-focused podcasts in the world. Key Topics: 2:00: Why “radical?” What does it mean to have “radical compassion?” 6:30: Practical applications of “no self.”  9:00: Maintaining “less self” while also being motivated to change. 10:30: How can we “accept ourselves” while also wanting to change in positive ways? 12:30: What gets in the way of compassion and self-acceptance.  17:15: The “trance” that keeps us away from compassion.  20:00: The RAIN meditation. 27:15: Making it easier to nurture ourselves. 32:15: “After the rain.”  34:00: Can, and should, we find acceptance and compassion for people we disagree with? 41:45: Coming to terms with our participation in systems of oppression. 48:50: Hope during challenging times.  52:30: Recap Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Feb 202156min

With so much challenging stuff going on in the world around us these days, it's natural to ask a simple question: how much control do we have over how happy we are? On this episode of "10 Good Minutes," Forrest explores the research behind happiness, reveals the most important factors, and gives some practical advice for maximizing sustainable well-being. If you'd like to watch this episode rather than listen to it, Forrest has a new YouTube channel! Subscribe to the channel, and watch the video over there.  From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Research: Pursuing Happiness: The Architecture of Sustainable Change Our podcast episode with Dr. Lyubomirsky. Twin studies find that identical twins raised in different households are more similar in their level of happiness than fraternal twins raised in the same household.  Emotional well-being decouples from income at ~$75,000/year. BRAND NEW research suggests that "experienced well-being" continues to rise as income increases above $75,000/year. Circumstantial factors that most consistently predict high subjective well being. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Jan 202120min

When we’re presented with challenging circumstances it’s natural for us to cope with them through a wide variety of behaviors. Today Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore one of the most common coping mechanisms: dissociation. This includes what it is, the function it serves, the experiences that can lead to dissociation, and what we can do about it. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Topics: 2:00: What is dissociation? 9:35: “Fragmentation and separation.” 11:45: Recovered and implanted memory. 17:45: Why do people dissociate? 22:10: Common symptoms of dissociation. 29:30: The risks of over-pathologizing.  31:40: Coming into your own life.  36:20: Growing self-worth as an antidote for dissociation.  40:15: Challenges of mindfulness for dissociation. 43:00: Focusing on an aspect of experience.  46:30: Enjoyment as a grounding experience.  48:55: “Our nature is to be associated.” 51:30: Recap Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Jan 20211h

On this timely episode, Dr. Bruce Perry joins the podcast to explore how we can limit the long-term impact of stressful events, and heal from past traumatic experiences.  About Our Guest:  Dr. Bruce Perry is one of the world’s leading experts on childhood trauma, and his clinical research and practice focuses on examining the long-term effects of trauma in children, adolescents, and adults. He is the Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, and the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog. Life After COVID Summit: Join Dr. Rick Hanson, Forrest Hanson, and a roster of world-class experts including Dr. Perry during this FREE three-day online event to explore our "new normal." Click here to learn more about the Summit and register now. Key Topics: 1:15: Pandemic fatigue.  4:45: Experiencing acute stressors alongside chronic stress.  7:20: Practices to help yourself de-stress.  11:30: The impact of stress on our ability to regulate ourselves. 13:30: How to limit the long-term impact of stressful events. 18:40: How we can explore traumatic material without re-traumatizing ourselves. 23:30: Avoiding helplessness, and experiencing control and agency.  25:30: Dissociation as a coping response. 31:00: Disruptions of attunement.  36:00: Caregiver fatigue, and caring for ourselves.  41:30: The pandemic’s impact on people who have been previously traumatized. 44:00: A wish for the future.  46:00: Recap Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Jan 202152min

We’re somehow both more efficient than ever before, and, at the same time, busier than ever before.  All of the many ways that we’ve found to optimize our performance has led to much more "doing," and not nearly as much "being." Today Rick and Forrest explore how we can get more in touch with being, and how by focusing more on "being" we might even be able to "do" more than ever before.  Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Key Ideas: 1:10: Rick making dad jokes.  2:00: The difference between “doing” and “being.” 6:20: Getting wrapped up in doing that crowds out “being.” 10:15: Craving in the brain.  15:05: How to grow what we want to be.  21:40: Allowing “being” to create friction-less “doing.” 25:45: How to get in touch with the feeling of “being.” 31:50: Internal resistance to being.  35:30: Who are you when you’re not scared?  41:15: Recap Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need.  Explore your creativity at Skillshare.com/BEINGWELL and get a free trial of their Premium Membership. Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!  Connect with the show: Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Jan 202145min