Become Less Resentful
When we’re hurt in our relationships, it’s normal to experience resentment. We don’t talk about resentment very much, we’re more likely to talk about anger, fear, or sadness. But resentment is a combination of all of those difficult feelings that causes as much harm to our relationships – and to our own well-being – as any other emotion. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore resentment: where it comes from, what it does, and what we can do about it. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What is resentment, and what function does it serve? 5:50: Resentment as repressed emotion. 9:00: Resentment and power differences. 11:10: Aspects of resentment. 12:40: Costs of resentment. 18:50: Given the costs, why do people hold on to their resentment? 22:20: Resentment connects us to people. 28:30: Healthy aspects of resentment. 31:00: Feeling "good enough." 34:00: Working with resentment: what do you want your experience to be? 42:00: Resentment as an indicator of unresolved communication. 44:30: The social functions of resentment. 48:00: Metta as an antidote to resentment. 54:30: Disentangled forgiveness. 57:00: Recap. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Just One Thing: Dr. Rick Hanson offers 3 free, regular newsletters with a variety of tips, practices, videos, meditations, and other helpful resources you can use in everyday life to grow the good that lasts. Learn more and sign up here. Rick's Wednesday Meditation Group: Join Rick for a free online weekly meditation, talk, and discussion every Wednesday from 6-7:30 pm PT/9-10:30 pm ET. Follow the link to learn more. If you can't join live, the sessions are recorded for later viewing. Sponsors: From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 at checkout for an additional 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Start a new healthy habit with Seed! Visit seed.com/beingwell and use code BEINGWELL to get 20% off your first month of Seed’s Daily Synbiotic. Connect with the show: Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Subscribe on iTunes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(456)

Anxious-Avoidant Relationships, Narcissism, and Insight to Action: Mailbag

Anxious-Avoidant Relationships, Narcissism, and Insight to Action: Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer questions about complex situations where good process really matters. They discuss whether to get back with an ex who has seemingly changed, relation...

1 Sep 20251h 11min

Limerence: The Psychology of Romantic Obsession with Brandy Wyant

Limerence: The Psychology of Romantic Obsession with Brandy Wyant

Forrest and therapist Brandy Wyant discuss limerence, an intense and often one-sided state of romantic obsession. They explore how limerence differs from both love and ordinary crushes, why uncertaint...

25 Aug 20251h 4min

Mingyur Rinpoche: A Meditation Master on Anxiety, Awareness, and Awakening

Mingyur Rinpoche: A Meditation Master on Anxiety, Awareness, and Awakening

Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Mingyur Rinpoche, a renowned Tibetan Buddhist teacher, to explore calming anxiety with awareness, relaxing unhealthy wanting, and finding a deeper sense of our innat...

18 Aug 20251h 8min

9 Lessons from the Great Minds of Psychoanalysis

9 Lessons from the Great Minds of Psychoanalysis

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the evolution of psychoanalysis after Freud, highlighting key ideas from figures like Adler, Klein, Winnicott, and Hillman. They track how the field expanded from focusing...

11 Aug 20251h 47min

Reclaiming Anger: Trauma, Repression, and Healthy Protest with Elizabeth Ferreira

Reclaiming Anger: Trauma, Repression, and Healthy Protest with Elizabeth Ferreira

Forrest and associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira talk about healthy (and unhealthy) anger. They challenge the common framing of anger as a “secondary emotion,” and explore why anger matters, how it ...

4 Aug 20251h 7min

Psychoanalysis: Therapy’s Controversial Origins

Psychoanalysis: Therapy’s Controversial Origins

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the ideas, context, and legacy of psychoanalysis, the often-controversial origin point for modern therapy. They discuss psychoanalysis’ early history and key concepts like...

28 Jul 20251h 32min

Is Self-Help Making You Miserable?

Is Self-Help Making You Miserable?

Forrest and Dr. Rick discuss what's really wrong with the self-help industry, going beyond the obvious pseudoscience and snake oil to examine deeper structural issues. They explore the industry's mixe...

21 Jul 20251h 26min

The Freeze Response, Gifted Kid Syndrome, and BPD: July Mailbag

The Freeze Response, Gifted Kid Syndrome, and BPD: July Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions about perfectionism, performance anxiety, trauma, and relationships. They explore how early praise for being “gifted” can create a fear of failure and co...

14 Jul 20251h 17min

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