Why Don't We Get Better?

Why Don't We Get Better?

This is the podcast’s five-year anniversary, and over that time I’ve submerged myself in psychology, self-help, and personal growth content - and as a result I’ve changed in many important ways. At the same time, some things have been very hard to change. It's surprising how even after learning so much I still often feel like I’m pushing the same old rocks up the same old hills. On today’s episode I’m joined by Dr. Rick Hanson to explore why we struggle to get better, how much change is realistically possible, what makes real change hard, the hidden barriers to lasting change, and what we can do to overcome them. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:55: Why do you want to change? 4:50: Four fundamental strategies 7:00: Three common issues 9:20: Effort, skillfulness, and luck 12:40: People’s autonomy about whether they want to change or not 13:50: “Tailwinds” to help yourself 17:30: Secondary gains, avoiding change, and naming payoffs and costs 24:15: Levity and affection for yourself 27:15: Starting by owning that we choose our behavior 30:10: Resistance and the parts of us that don’t want to change 34:00: Framing, starting with benefits, and absolving shame 39:35: Tactics vs. Strategies 42:30: Celebrating small change, aiming for big healing 46:40: Recap New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20. Sponsors: This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(484)

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

How to Feel Your Feelings with Simone Saunders

We’ve all been told to “feel our feelings,” but what does that actually mean, and how do you do it? Forrest talks with trauma therapist Simone Saunders about how to go from knowing your patterns to be...

24 Aug 1h 25min

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

The Psychology of Manipulation: How to Become Manipulation Resistant

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to become more resistant to manipulation, discussing terms like gaslighting, DARVO, and love bombing. They talk about why cynicism doesn’t make you immune to manipulat...

17 Aug 1h 10min

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

What’s The Problem With Therapy Speak? August Mailbag

Terms like boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, trauma, and attachment are everywhere now. Dr. Rick and Forrest answer a listener question about the consequences - good and bad - of clinical language es...

10 Aug 1h 1min

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Burnout: A Practical Guide for Normal People

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore burnout: what it is, why it’s so common, and what people can do about it. They begin by framing burnout as largely a structural problem that individuals are forced to mana...

3 Aug 1h 15min

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

The Grieving Body: How to Heal After Loss with Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor

We all understand the emotional impact of grief, but its effects on the body are often overlooked. Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor to explore the ph...

27 Jul 1h 28min

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Healing from Parentification: When the “Gifted Child” Grows Up

Some kids learn early on that the way to be loved is to be useful. They take on the emotional or practical care of their parents in a process known as parentification, and today Dr. Rick and Forrest e...

20 Jul 1h 15min

Understanding Dissociation and DID: What It's Really Like, and How People Recover w/ Dr. Milissa Kaufman and Dr. Lauren Lebois

Understanding Dissociation and DID: What It's Really Like, and How People Recover w/ Dr. Milissa Kaufman and Dr. Lauren Lebois

Most of what people know about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) comes from movies and short videos, and those media portrayals often have little to do with what DID is actually like. To get the re...

13 Jul 1h 26min

From Insight to Action: How to Face the Fear You Keep Avoiding

From Insight to Action: How to Face the Fear You Keep Avoiding

Dr. Rick and Forrest continue last week’s conversation on avoidance coping, this time focusing on how to move from insight into meaningful action. They explore why self-awareness often isn’t enough to...

6 Jul 1h 15min

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