Oliver Burkeman

Please Support The Show with a DonationCheri Huber is the author of 20 books and has been a student of zen for 35 years. She founded the Mountain View Zen Center and the Zen Monastery Peace Center, both in California, where she and other monks teach workshops and hold retreats. She is also a truth telling, light hearted delight to listen to. In this interview, she talks all about what is going on in our mind and how we can better work with it to produce a better experience in life. Her wisdom is so practical and so powerful. See for yourself in this transformative episode.Visit Bombas www.bombas.com/wolf and enter offer WOLF at checkout for 20% off the most comfortable socks in the worldIn This Interview, Cheri Huber and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable Her book, I Don't Want To, I Don't Feel Like It: How resistance controls your life and what to do about it How the process IS the outcome That now is the only moment there is How the quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention Everything comes into being, together She doesn't believe that there's anything that ISN'T God Our dualistic thinking All of the ways to refer to the ego The unique ability that humans have to experience themselves as other than life The ego is a survival system Believing we are not connected to life Everything is a verb! A gerund The illusion of being separate from life My ego is the no to life's yes Always asking what's lacking, what's missing, what's wrong keeps the ego as the center of the universe How we are deeply conditioned for negativity Awareness being able to watch the conditioned mind I hear it in my head, it sounds like me, it must be me, it's who I am Approach the stuff that's going on inside our heads by imagining that it's somebody next to you saying it Recording and Listening Make recordings of what's true, what I appreciate, what I love Hearing what's true for you in your own voice Talking ourselves into a life that's true How we direct our attention is the be all and end all in life We have these tendencies to see what's negative so we need to bring ourselves to what is true that isn't negative We transcend the conditioned mind, we don't resist it The key is to turn your attention away from the negative voices not to change what they are saying The habit of going with the conversation in your head is so powerful If we can wake up out of it, we can decide to go somewhere else in our attention Hear Cheri Huber talk about her book,  I Don't Want To, I Don't Feel Like It: How resistance controls your life and what to do about it Cheri Huber teaches that the process IS the outcome Cheri Huber explains what she means by this: your ego is the "no" to life's "yes" Do you believe that we are deeply conditioned for negativity or hardwired for negativity? Here's a tip: Approach the stuff that's going on inside our heads by imagining that it's somebody next to you saying it The quality of your life is determined by the focus of your attention Please Support The Show with a DonationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Apr 201847min

Please Support The Show with a DonationRick Hanson, PhD is a Neuropsychologist, teacher and author of many books. He is the founder of the Wellspring Center for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and an affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkley. This is the 2nd time Dr. Hanson has been a guest on the show and we invited him back because of how great his work really is. In this episode, he talks all about the fact that who we become is a result of what we grow inside of ourselves. Using the analogy of tending a garden, he teaches us very practical ways to grow and enrich ourselves through the experiences in our lives. Get a pen and paper - you'll probably want to take notes on this one!Visit Bombas www.bombas.com/wolf and enter offer WOLF at checkout for 20% off the most comfortable socks in the worldIn This Interview, Rick Hanson and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, Resilient: How to grow an unshakable core of calm, strength, and happiness Who we become is a result of what we grow inside ourselves How you manage your challenges, protect your vulnerabilities, Increase your resources: out in the world, in the body, and in the mind Growing resources in our mind is a good focus Converting an experience into lasting change Slowing down content delivery so that the nervous system in our brains has a chance to receive it and rewire accordingly 5 ways to enrich a beneficial experience: Extend the experience (make it longer) Intensify the experience (really lean into it) Embody the experience (how does it feel in your body and your mind) Freshen the experience (see what's novel about it? Bring a beginners mind) Value the experience (see the relevance to you) Asking what is the challenge? What resource would be the most beneficial? The mind is like a garden - to grow things, focus on: Mindful witnessing Mindful releasing of what's negative Mindful receiving (replace what we release or simply receive what would be beneficial) Fighting what's negative only makes it work Growing a fundamental core of resilient wellbeing Safety, Satisfaction, and Connection are basic needs we have How it takes time to tend a garden How adversity isn't the only way to grow in life We have to experience what we want to grow inside We have to turn that experience into some kind of lasting change in the brain    Please Support The Show with a Donation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

27 Mar 201843min

This an an excerpt from our The One You Feed Stress Reducer CourseThe course is available for a limited time. Click here for more detailsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

24 Mar 20185min

Check out our new Stress Reducer CourseJeff Warren is a former journalist and more recently is a researcher, writer, and teacher of meditation and personal growth practices. His most recent book, written with Dan Harris, is called, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book. Jeff is a likable, relatable guy who carries a lot of practical wisdom in his conversational style of communicating. If you've ever felt like you're not good at meditating or that meditation just isn't for you because your brain never turns off, this interview is for you because that's how Jeff would describe himself, particularly at the beginning of his practice years ago. We all know that meditation is good for us but for many, it just feels inaccessible and out of reach. If that is how you feel, what Jeff has to share in this interview will make that gap shrink in size so much so that you can hop right over it and try again.Audible www.audible.com/oneyoufeed 500-500 text oneyoufeedRxBar www.rxbar.com/wolf Promo code WOLF 25% off your first order= Casper www.casper.com/oneyoufeed use promo code ONEYOUFEED for $50 off select mattressesIn This Interview, Jeff Warren and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book with Dan Harris, Meditation for Fidgitty Skeptics: A 10% Happier How to Book The role of meditation in living with depression The voice in our heads Not identifying with the voices in our heads Coming out of the conversation in our heads The idea of "I can't meditate" Thinking we're supposed to stop thinking when we meditate Changing the relationship with your thoughts Focusing on an anchor, getting lost in thought, realizing you're lost in thought and coming back to your anchor = mediation How quick we are to conclude that meditation isn't for us That meditation is a practice Celebrating the coming back from thought in meditation Training affability during meditation Finding enjoyment and curiosity during meditation  Asking "What's the attitude in my mind right now?" during meditation That attitude is what you're training during meditation Looking at the world with interest Equanimity = a lack of pushing and pulling on experience Opening to experience so that there's no friction When everything has permission to express its self fully Check out our new Stress Reducer CourseSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

20 Mar 201843min

Please Support The Show with a DonationRobert Wright is an author and a scholar. His most recent book, Why Buddhism is True, is an analytical look comparing the ancient concepts of Buddhism and the more recent findings of modern science. The title of his book may be a bit provocative, but we challenge you to hear him out before assuming what he writes about in his book on the topic. We think you'll find this interview thought provoking and interesting as well as instructive and helpful. Whatever your reaction to the episode, we'd love to hear about it. $30 off your first week of Hello Fresh www.hellofresh.com Enter Promo Code Feed30 UltraMax 3 Ultra Pure Omega 3s www.tryomax.com/wolf box of Omax 3 UltraPure for freeIn This Interview, Robert Wright and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, Why Buddhism is True Evolutionary Psychology That according to Evolutionary Psychology we're wired to do what's best to propagate our genes into the next generation And how sometimes doing that might not be what's best for ourselves or the world That we're wired for a recurring dissatisfaction or discontented so we'd keep doing the things that would move us toward our goal of passing our genes on to the next generation Craving and Aversion Not following craving and aversion as guides are central to Buddhism According to Buddhism if we don't run from unpleasant feelings like sadness, anxiety etc, they will actually become less painful over time That the Buddha intuited a lot of things that we now know to be true according to modern science and evolutionary psychology How our thoughts can sometimes subtlely influence us - ex Cognitive Bias Cognitive Bias being driven by emotion rather than being rational & Buddhism teaches that The Buddhist conception of the mind/brain and modern psychology's conception of the mind/brain are very aligned In the cognitive battle for attention, the thought that "wins" is the one that has the most feeling attached to it How meditation can help give you clarity on thoughts and feelings and the difference between the two CBT & questioning your thoughts and feelings in Buddhism Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Allowing and observing rather than acting on our strong feelings The anguish we add to physical pain by the anticipation of it or the lamenting of it Essences that we impute into things The idea of not self and what it means The benefit of parceling out the things that we identify - like anxious feelings - as not being ourselves Thinking you're not cut out for meditation Please Support The Show with a DonationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

14 Mar 201849min

We all want answers, but often they aren't forthcoming. Learning to live within and with the questions is a art to learn.If you like these mini episodes Patrons get a bonus episode every month. Details hereSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

10 Mar 20187min

Please Support The Show with a DonationCatherine Gray is an award-winning writer and editor. Her most recent book is called, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. What a brilliant title and what a brilliant book. In it - and in this interview - Catherine offers so many good ideas, phrases, and pearls of wisdom to take away and keep close by. She shares a bit about her journey to and through sobriety with Eric and the critical "ah ha" moments along the way that really helped her build the life she's living today. If you don't have a revelatory moment when listening to her in this interview, we'll be surprised.Our sponsor this week is Casper Mattress visit  www.casper.com/oneyoufeed and use the promo code theoneyoufeed for $50 off your purchaseIn This Interview, Catherine Gray and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable Her book, The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober The challenge of training our brains to look for the good stuff in life The question: Would my life be better sober? instead of Am I an alcoholic? Rock bottom being a different place for different people at different times The challenge of moderation The beautiful clarity of zero The limbic system in distress with indecision Controlling vs Enjoying drinking Alchohol being like a cheat code in a video game when it comes to inhibition That no one regrets being sober The awful feelings at the beginning of getting sober are what you feel like because of the drinking, not the getting sober Learning the skills to enjoy life sober Addictive voice recognition Negative Thought Patterns: B&B  Children in a car Bird watching That there are many different ways to get sober How expectations are resentments under construction Day counting in being sober I don't vs I can't  Please Support The Show with a DonationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Mar 201844min

Please Support The Show with a DonationPaul Dolan is a Professor of Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics and Political Science. He's an expert on human behavior and happiness. Paul is also the author of the best selling book, Happiness By Design: Change What You Do Not What You Think. We all want happiness in our lives yet happiness is something that so often eludes most people. It seems like a feeling that happens to us rather than a feeling that we can cultivate with intention. In this interview, Paul teaches some really practical, research-based, action-oriented approaches to life that we can take today to increase our feelings of happiness. The first step? Listen to this informative and interesting interview. Omax3 Ultrapure go to www.tryomax.com/wolf and try a box for freeIn This Interview, Paul Dolan and I Discuss... The Wolf Parable His book, Happiness By Design: Change What You Do Not What You Think The power of designing your environment Find a balance of purpose and pleasure and you have a happy life How a large part of how you feel is connected to what you do The role of attention in happiness What we think would make us happy vs what does make us happy That we're not very good at predicting what will make us happy The AREA model How we must make sense of what's happened in order to adapt to it Key to happiness is also to pay more attention to what makes you happy and less attention to what doesn't make you happy Why somethings that are so obvious are so often overlooked If you can't change what you do, change what you pay attention to in the experience If you want to do something, make it easy for yourself to do it Less about willpower and more about design power Habit loops Queuing your environment, commitment and norm Deciding, Designing and Doing If you want to do something, make it easy. If you don't want to do something make it hard Please Support The Show with a Donation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Feb 201830min