Parker Palmer - Reflections from Getting Older

In this episode, Yung Pueblo discusses relationship mistakes and how to love better. He explores how attachments can masquerade as love and how true connection requires flexibility, and shares this powerful insight: attachment is just a deep form of inflexibility—it can look like love, but it’s often about control. Diego also delves into why growth, kindness, and compassion are green flags in a partner, and how to advocate for personal needs without clinging too tightly to rigid expectations. This insightful discussion offers practical wisdom for anyone looking to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Key Takeaways: Attachment vs. Love – Attachment can often masquerade as love, but it’s really a deep form of inflexibility and control. True love allows for freedom and growth. The Power of Emotional Flexibility – Our ability to adapt, shift perspectives, and embrace change is essential for healthy relationships. The Role of Personal Growth in Love – Your relationship is only as strong as your willingness to grow. When both partners prioritize self-awareness, connection deepens. Kindness and Humility as Green Flags – Instead of looking for perfection in a partner, look for their willingness to grow, their kindness in difficult moments, and their ability to see beyond their own perspective. The Danger of Comparison – Social media can create unrealistic expectations in relationships. Instead of comparing, focus on what truly matters in your connection. Balancing Freedom and Commitment – Love thrives when we allow each other to change and evolve while staying committed to the relationship. For full show notes, click here! If you enjoyed this episode with Yung Pueblo, check out these other episodes: How to Feel Lighter with Yung Pueblo The Art of Poetry and Prose with David Whyte Life Through Poetry with IN-Q Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

11 Mar 52min

In this episode, Liz Fosslien discusses how to be okay when life feels overwhelming. Do you ever feel overwhelmed by emotions like anger, envy, or uncertainty—and then feel guilty for feeling that way? Liz challenges some of the biggest myths about emotions. She also dives into why negative emotions aren’t actually bad, how perfectionism holds us back, and why uncertainty feels so unbearable. She shares research-backed insights and actionable strategies to help us navigate difficult feelings in a more constructive and self-compassionate way. Key Takeaways: 00:00 – Introduction to Big Feelings and Emotional Myths 05:55 – The Illusion of Certainty and Why We Overestimate Risk 14:37 – The Cycle of Anxiety, Thought Filtering, and Anxious Fixing 22:53 – Perfectionism as Fear of Failure and How to Break the Pattern 32:35 – The Power of Language: How “Always” and “Never” Reinforce Negative Thinking 38:39 – Comparison Isn’t the Problem—How to Use It for Growth 48:54 – Time Chunking: A Survival Strategy for Emotional Overwhelm 54:49 – Closing Thoughts: Accepting Big Feelings as Part of the Human  Experience For full show notes, click here! If you enjoyed this episode with Liz Fosslien, check out these other episodes: Embracing Emotions at Work with Liz Fosslien (2019) Befriending Difficult Feelings with Adreanna Limbach Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

7 Mar 56min

In this episode, Janice Kaplan explores the happiness formula and how to use your body to transform your mind. She discusses the powerful connection between our bodies and our minds. Drawing from her latest book, What Your Body Knows About Happiness, Janice shares groundbreaking research on how our physical state directly influences our emotions, thoughts, and overall well-being. You'll discover how simple bodily changes—like posture, movement, and even temperature—can dramatically impact our happiness. Key Takeaways: How your body sends signals to your brain that shape your emotions Why small physical changes (like sitting up straight or smiling) can boost your mood The surprising ways environment and sensory input influence perception and behavior How chronic pain can be “rewired” in the brain and why movement is key to relief The underestimated power of touch and human connection in emotional well-being Why new experiences—no matter how small—can dramatically improve happiness For full show notes, click here! If you enjoyed this episode with Janice Kaplan, check out these other episodes: Ruth Whippman on the Complexity of Happiness How to Unleash the Power of Happiness and Success with Emma Seppala Hope for Healing Chronic Pain with Yoni Ashar Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

4 Mar 58min

In this episode, Nikki Eisenhauer shares the #1 mindset shift to stop overthinking and start living. She explores the profound role of insight, emotional maturity, and personal responsibility in personal growth. With her extensive wisdom gleaned from her 17+ years of experience working with highly sensitive individuals, she dives into why some people change while others remain stuck, how overthinking can become a trap, and the importance of balancing self-compassion with accountability. Key Takeaways: 00:00 Insight is the Key to Change 04:37 Maturity Matters More Than We Think 08:37 Your Feelings Don’t Have to Drive the Bus 14:09 Overthinking is a Coping Mechanism 33:40 Stillness is a Superpower in a Distracted World 45:41 Personal Responsibility is Empowering, Not Harsh If you enjoyed this episode with Nikki Eisenhauer, check out these other episodes: How to Harness the Chatter in Your Head with Ethan Kross Overthinking and Internal Soundtracks with Jon Acuff For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 Feb 1h 5min

In this episode, math teacher and author Ben Orlin explores the secret to learning and problem-solving in life. He explains why struggling through challenges (in math and life) can actually be a good thing. Ben also discusses the unexpected power of humor and how we can rethink our approach to learning and change. Key Takeaways: 05:16 – Struggle is a Sign of Learning, Not Failure 13:27 – Why We Fear Math (And How to Overcome It) 25:06 – The Role of Humor and Play in Learning 27:36 – The Paradox of Change and the Infinite Steps of Progress 22:03 – Why We Need to Step Away to Solve Problems 50:27 – The Link Between Happiness and Expectations If you enjoyed this episode with Ben Orlin, check out these other episodes: How to Find Real Life in Stories with George Saunders Improvising in Life with Stephen Nachmanovitch For full show notes, click here! Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

25 Feb 1h 6min

In this episode, Ellen Hendriksen discusses the hidden costs of perfectionism and why you never feel good enough. She shares the various ways perfectionism disguises itself as a positive trait—when in reality, it can lead to self-criticism, procrastination, and emotional exhaustion. Ellen also explains why perfectionism is less about being perfect and more about never feeling good enough, how self-acceptance is the antidote, and why procrastination is actually an emotional regulation problem (not a time management issue). Key Takeaways: (01:02) – Perfectionism isn’t about being perfect—it’s about never feeling good enough (03:26) – The two wolves of perfectionism: Conscientiousness vs. Self-Criticism (07:36) – Overevaluation: When self-worth gets tangled with performance (16:57) – Guided Drift: Mr. Rogers’ surprising philosophy on perfection and mistakes (26:51) – The power of self-compassion: You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy (39:40) – Emotional Perfectionism: The toxic belief that you “shouldn’t” feel a certain way (43:59) – Why procrastination is actually about emotion management—not time management (50:46) – How to release past mistakes and stop ruminating over failures For full show notes, click here! If you enjoyed this episode with Ellen Hendriksen, check out these other episodes: How to Overcome Perfectionism and Create Your Best Work with David Kadavy How to Manage Social Anxiety and The Inner Critic with Ellen Hendriksen Being a Procrastinator with Tim Pychyl Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

21 Feb 56min

In this episode, Arlina Allen explores the truth about 12-step programs and dives deep into the common misconceptions, barriers, and unexpected benefits. Arlina shares her personal journey from resistance to transformation, highlighting how reframing common challenges—like the language of “character defects” and the concept of powerlessness—can make the 12 steps a powerful tool for healing. Key Takeaways: [01:06] – Why 12-Step Programs Are So Misunderstood [05:00] – Reframing the Good Wolf vs. Bad Wolf Parable [07:22] – The Problem with “Character Defects” [15:46] – The Illusion of Moderation: Can You Control Your Drinking? [25:14] – Why 12-Step Programs Get a Bad Reputation [28:46] – Rethinking the Role of God in Recovery [37:35] – Why Words Like “Alcoholic” Can Be Both Useful & Limiting [46:31] – The 12 Steps as a Structured Path to Change [50:49] – The 4th Step: Why Looking at Ourselves is So Hard [54:28] – Is AA a Cult? Debunking the Myth For full show notes, click here! How to Recover the Person You Were Meant to Be with Paul Churchill A Journey to Sobriety with Laura Cathcart Robbins How to Embrace Sobriety with Gillian Tietz Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

18 Feb 1h 2min

In this episode, Jillian Turecki delves into relationships, the hidden relationship trap, and how negative narratives sabotage love. Jillian emphasizes the internal battle we face between positive and negative thoughts, likening our minds to battlefields. She highlights the importance of not believing every thought that crosses our minds and instead tuning into our hearts and instincts for a more fulfilling life. Key Takeaways: [00:05:20] Relationship dynamics and interpretations. [00:12:17] Relationship resistance and patterns. [00:15:14] Responsibility in toxic relationships. [00:18:04] Taking responsibility for love life. [00:22:14] Relationship patterns and personal growth. [00:29:01] Accountability in relationships. [00:30:27] Truth as medicine in relationships. [00:39:08] Making peace with unhealthy habits. [00:44:26] Relationship accountability and needs. [00:50:22] Importance of genuine appreciation. [00:52:56] Relationship positivity ratio. [00:57:12] Emotional patterns in relationships. [01:04:38] Fear driving relationship behaviors. [01:05:58] Effective communication strategies. [01:10:56] Positive intent in relationships. [01:16:36] Healing from heartbreak. For full show notes, click here! If you enjoyed this conversation, check out these other episodes: How to Make Great Relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson Dr. Sue Johnson on Navigating Romantic Relationships Cindy Stulberg on Relationships Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

14 Feb 1h 4min