Call Me Your Nightmare, Call Me Your Dream: Transmission 513, 2020 February 26
radiobombast16 Apr 2021

Call Me Your Nightmare, Call Me Your Dream: Transmission 513, 2020 February 26

Wednesday is my day of healing: first therapy, and then this. My therapist thinks my dj hobby is creativity. I think it is self-expression at best. I have never believed that djs are artists or that spinning and mixing records is a performance. I have done art and I have done performance; I may do these things again, god help us all. But for reasons of trauma those are in the past.

There is plenty of new trauma unfolding in the present. Work was not going well at the time of this broadcast. I was feeling inadequate and afraid to show up as myself. Little did I know what kind of blessing the pandemic would be in this regard.

The program is my one arena for seeming and feeling competent. Listening back to the programs from this time, I do wonder what any of it has to do with "the self." I think that has gotten better, but you'll have to wait.

Since this program was broadcast, 416 days ago now, I've gone "on the air" 58 times. I have delivered 53 pre-recorded episodes on account of the pandemic. At long last I have set up my voice-over mic and preamp in my new house. I am accepting the new reality by and by, probably just in time for it to end.

BOMBAST playlist, 2020 February 26, 2100-2300:

  • "The Feeling" | Orlando Voorn | The Feeling | Bosh
  • "I Can't Get Along Without You - Instrumental" | Vance and Suzzanne | I Can't Get Along Without You | Kalita
  • "Hope Reminds Me Of Her" | Hadone | The World of Monnom Black II | Monnom Black
  • "Maze Exit" | Brioskj | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
  • "Hoobeya (Somali Traditional Chant)" | Shimaali & Killer | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
  • "Worried Man" | Jeb Loy Nichols | Cash Covered | Mojo Magazine
  • "Dan Asher - King Britt Mudd Club Mix" | Gray | Shades of... Anthology | Ubiquity
  • "Keep Out" | Nominalbeat | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
  • "Status" | Midnight Embassy | Midnight Embassy | International Major Label
  • "Ire Africa" | Chief Checker | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
  • "Suck It Like a Whistle" | Sneaks | Highway Hypnosis | Merge
  • "Let Dreamer's Dream (Daydream)" | Vince Watson | DnA - EP1 | Everysoul
  • "Homesick" | I Kill Kane | Disintegration Revisited | The Blog That Celebrates Itself
  • "ADA" | NNYZ? | Reveries | self-released
  • "Call Me Anything (But Call Me)" | Maggie Sue Wimberly | Hillbilly Fillies & Rockin' Chicks | Charly | "The Listening Parlour"
  • "Oxford Guitar Club" | Lloyd Meadows | Oxford Synthesizer Club | The Beautiful Music
  • "Fell from the Sun" | Kendra Smith, David Roback, Keith Mitchell | Fell From The Sun | Serpent
  • "Coincidence" | Fallende | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
  • "Shaleedayaa (By Myself)" | Dur-Dur Band | Mogadisco - Dancing Mogadishu (Somalia 1972​-​1991) | Analog Africa
  • "Onipa" | Onipa | Onipa / Makoma | Strut
  • "African Dialects" | Peter King | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
  • "Kele Bila (Stop Fighting)" | Mr Raoul K | African Paradigm | Compost
  • "Amino Acids" | Hardwired | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective
  • "Happy Survival" | Ifeanyi Eddie Okwedy & His Maymores Dance Band | Nigeria 70: Box Set | Strut
  • "2d Objects" | Jabber | Shepherd Drift | Kahvi Collective

I've killed everybody, now what

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Episoder(20)

We're Not Alone, It's Hard To Tell: Transmission 530, 2020 June 10

We're Not Alone, It's Hard To Tell: Transmission 530, 2020 June 10

“Our Pandemic Radio Adventure” continues, and I’m back on my bullshit–by that I mean counting the mixtapes I’ve had to assemble for you. What must I have been thinking–that this would end soon? Dear l...

27 Jul 20241h 57min

Now, Later, Never and Ever: Transmission 529, 2020 June 3

Now, Later, Never and Ever: Transmission 529, 2020 June 3

It’s been a tough week, hasn’t it? INDEED IT HAS. This episode finds me  losing count of the number of times I’ve had to submit a pre-recorded program. Whatevs, counting is for nerds anyway. Trying to...

20 Jul 20241h 58min

Outright Denial of the Dying and the Sane: Transmission 528, 2020 May 27

Outright Denial of the Dying and the Sane: Transmission 528, 2020 May 27

This episode and the next are about clearing the decks, a “before and after” tableau, if you will. They are about how I cannot seem to perform the deck-clearing in a spontaneous, immediate way, and ho...

10 Des 20231h 58min

Sorry If I Give You PTSD: Transmission 527, 2020 May 20

Sorry If I Give You PTSD: Transmission 527, 2020 May 20

More sandwich-making: the first few songs of this program provide me with comfort on a chilly fall evening in the Northeast, provenance be damned. Listening to the program I don’t really care where th...

18 Nov 20231h 57min

Just Admit You Don’t Know What To Do: Transmission 526, 2020 May 13

Just Admit You Don’t Know What To Do: Transmission 526, 2020 May 13

Here is a program that chased my dog upstairs (kudos to Cry Robot for that). Her taste is something of a mystery, though. There is plenty of the sublime to experience in this audio file. Where else ar...

12 Nov 20231h 58min

Deep off into Mother Universe: Transmission 525, 2020 May 6

Deep off into Mother Universe: Transmission 525, 2020 May 6

Honesty time. I dread these programs between the beginning of the lockdown and the death of George Floyd. Yet somehow this program has my energy. I can’t deny it. Maybe it is inescapable. I have this ...

16 Jul 20231h 57min

Hello Refusal, You’re Just the Same as Usual: Transmission 524, 2020 April 29

Hello Refusal, You’re Just the Same as Usual: Transmission 524, 2020 April 29

FAM. I am trying so hard to get back on the horse and process the last 39 months. I have to honor the muse when she appears.. I detect a weirdly naive positivity in this program’s energy despite what ...

4 Jul 20231h 57min

I Got One Doctor That I Talk to Every Week About This Panic: Transmission 523, 2020 April 22

I Got One Doctor That I Talk to Every Week About This Panic: Transmission 523, 2020 April 22

From my contemporaneous notes: "I have to say I enjoyed this show, it seems to demonstrate that I had made peace with pre-recording and had found a way to still be good." Wow, just wow. I suppose this...

19 Des 20221h 56min

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