Episode 68: HA HA I HAVE A HUGE DICK with the very thoughtful Blake
Sexplanations Podcast9 Nov 2018

Episode 68: HA HA I HAVE A HUGE DICK with the very thoughtful Blake

Let's talk about gender and biosex and sex assigned at birth and anatomy and surgery and language. In this episode Blake, FTM, and I a ciswoman pull apart what we experience on a day to day basis to develop a better world for the future. For part of the episode I go through the criteria of gender dysphoria as outlined in the DSM 5. Here there are if you'd like to follow along: In adolescents and adults gender dysphoria diagnosis involves a difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning. It lasts at least six months and is shown by at least two of the following: 1. A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics 2. A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics 3. A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender 4. A strong desire to be of the other gender 5. A strong desire to be treated as the other gender 6. A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender Why does Blake identify as FTM rather than a transman? "While I’m not offended if someone refers to me as a transman, I prefer to say I’m FTM, or a female-to-male trans person. The main reason is that the term FTM just feels correct. It sounds right when I say it. It feels authentic. I don’t get that “it fits” feeling with transman, non-binary, or any other gendery word. However, it’s okay if my experience seems familiar to you and you do use a different term than I do. Or if you’re FTm and your experience is nothing like mine. We’re equally valid. I just know what fits for me. I don’t feel that my gender is particularly “man”, and I struggle to relate to most men, cis or trans. I know that I get the “it fits” feeling with my current name, Blake, but not with my birth name. He/him/his pronouns fit too. They/them doesn’t bother me, but doesn’t feel as correct as he/him. Being called she/her causes me pain. When I had breasts, I knew that I’d feel more correct without them, so I removed them, and I do indeed feel more at home in my own body now. I was similarly confident about not wanting my uterus and ovaries. I have mixed feelings about the idea of having/obtaining a penis. I rarely feel pain/dysphoria when I see my own genitalia, but I do wish that I didn’t have to worry about having this genitalia - I wish men’s bathrooms had more stalls, I wish my genitals weren’t remarkable or confusing to doctors or potential sexual partners, but I don’t hate having a vulva. I’m not always comfortable with other people interacting with it, though I often am, but I find that the most emotionally fulfilling sex for me involves me penetrating another person with a “realistic” phallus. It’s how I feel most sexually fulfilled, even if that means my genitals aren’t stimulated by another person and/or I don’t have an orgasm. But having a penis 24/7 seems really inconvenient, honestly, and I don’t like the feeling of wearing a packer. I like the look of a bulge on me, but not enough to wear a packer. I like that I was “born female” and I wouldn’t change it. I like using a term that has female in it. I am thankful to have been raised as a girl. I didn’t feel like anything but a girl, until I realized that I’d never thought about it. But by then, I’d spent 18 years avoiding boys. Boys were mean to me. Men scare me. So using a term with “man” in it feels less authentic, and I don’t want to be them or be like them. Manhood isn’t appealing to me, even though much of “male”-ness feels essential to me."

Episoder(94)

Episode 86: Full Circle with Mandela

Episode 86: Full Circle with Mandela

Mandela is an incredible person. She's a river guide, surfer, musician, storyteller, housesitter, adventurer, explorer, and absolute delight. Maybe the most interesting person I know. I asked her to talk with me about bad sex ed because when I was teaching and she was my student, Mandela was the only person I remember correcting something I'd taught to make my sex ed better and I think that is so cool. Khoikhoi, by the way is the preferred name of the non-Bantu indigenous nomadic pastoralists of South Africa, I referred to as Hottentot. Here's a link to Mandela's amazing podcast: https://www.traillesstraveled.net/ SEXtra Credit: do a random act of kindness each day and or adapt a negative experience to see if you can get a more positive outcome. Sexplanations is supported entirely by Sexpla(i)nauts on https://www.patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast THANK YOU!!

3 Jan 202057min

Episode 85: One Size Doesn't Fit All with Henry

Episode 85: One Size Doesn't Fit All with Henry

Doctor Doe has an inspiring conversation with a great fellow named Henry. Some of the topics covered include clothing choices at school and through different age groups. How fast does sexual intimacy occur within a new relationship. How familial relationships impact peoples future relationships. SEXtra credit: Ask your parents and/or longtime friends what age they think you had sex for the first time? How did they know? This podcast is a followup of sorts to the Sexplanations video #85 Is it Okay to be sexy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPJRv9Tm7oc Thank you dear listener Please support this podcast: https://www.patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast

27 Des 20191h 2min

Episode 84: Finding our way to similar things with cousin Katelyn

Episode 84: Finding our way to similar things with cousin Katelyn

Sexplanations Episode 84: Finding our way to similar things with cousin Katelyn How do you talk to sex with your parents? Thoughts on sex addiction and penis size? How do two women raised in sex negative cultures find their own ways to sex positive lives. Lindsey and her cousin Katelyn revisit the Sexplanations video episode Ask Lindsey #15 and answer audience questions. Video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCx1tPIYc-0 SEXtra credit: Have a conversation with someone about sex, try to make it less taboo, with grace and love. Thank you for listening, please support this podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast Mentions: Katelyn’s favorite food: Waffles. Check out the Youtube channel “Will It Waffle” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx-e0XIjul4&list=PL1g3MXAZto6KukrudNbw4ifK4LR5wr_KN&index=5 Seplanations: What is Ethical Porn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrZ-zX4zpsY Film: “The Sessions” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sessions_(film) A definition of sex addiction: A desire or impulse to have sex you cannot say no to. Sexplanations Kegel episodes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WnM9jJcxYQ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Isvt-8J_rBo Flat Irons Church Explicit lyrics: http://flatironsarchive.com/messages/messages_2008.php Thank You

20 Des 201950min

Episode 83: Period Pregnancy with only Lindsey

Episode 83: Period Pregnancy with only Lindsey

Dr Doe is sick with a head cold, podcasting solo in quarantine from the RV in Sunnyvale, California. In this episode she answers questions from the Sexplanations’ video Period Pregnancy?! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPqLENNFnGg and catches us up on work-life. Lots of updates like moving to Mexico for a while, putting down Lena the brindle pit cross dog, and recording with amazing sex educators. SEXtra Credit: Let’s do collective research on why people bleed during ovulation and how often people get pregnant on their periods? Post your comments and results in the comments. Should you have sex when you’re sick video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AArEm7TQV98 Check out our new merch related to the RV and its amazing wrap. https://store.dftba.com/collections/sexplanations Please support this podcast on: https://www.patreon/sexplanationspodcast Thank you dear listeners

13 Des 201937min

Episode 82: Bring Sexy Back With Prairie

Episode 82: Bring Sexy Back With Prairie

Lindsey and Prairie (https://www.somaticconnections.org/) podcast with dogs and puppies in the background. Discussing Prairie's job as a Sexological Body Worker, somatic connections, engaging feminism, and postpartum care. Book mentioned: “Wild Feminine: Finding Power, Spirit & Joy in the Female Body” by Tami Lynn Kent. Prairie guides Lindsey and the Listeners through a pelvic bowl meditation. SEXtra credit: mindful masturbation is worth your time, self love, masturbate, clear an hour on your schedule and consider taking orgasm off the table. Please support this podcast on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast/posts Thank you dear listeners

6 Des 201943min

Episode 81 Ask Lindsey With Tim Norton

Episode 81 Ask Lindsey With Tim Norton

Episode 81 Ask Lindsey with Tim Norton http://www.timnortontherapy.com http://www.timnortontherapy.com/hardconversationspodcast Dr. Doe and Tim Norton (timnortontherapy.com) talk erectile issues, peter tingle, sex therapy and the mind/body relationship of erections. Tim's favorite sex tip: Lube, use it, it’s great. Book mentioned: “The Courage to Heal” https://www.amazon.com/Courage-Heal-Workbook-Survivors-Sexual/dp/0060964375 SEXtra credit: do the worksheet at end of the book “The Erotic Mind” by Jack Morin, outlining your peak erotic experiences. https://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Mind-Unlocking-Sources-Fulfillment/dp/0060984287#customerReviews Thank you dear listeners, please support this podcast on https://www.patreon.com/sexplanations Check out sexplanations channel on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/sexplanations

1 Des 201959min

Episode 80: PERIODS & DANCE COUNT KEGELS with Angie

Episode 80: PERIODS & DANCE COUNT KEGELS with Angie

Dr. Doe and her guest Angie discuss menstruation, dance, communities, nursing school, and their latest research questions. What was your first period like? How might people feel who don't experience menstruation? What role can communities play in enhancing our sex lives? What correlations are there to bleeding? What are we still curious about? To support the Sexplanations Podcast please visit: patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast SEXtra Credit: Start a new sexual conversation with a partner or if you're single, take steps closer to accepting yourself -- embrace who you are and your ambitions separate from society's expectations. SEXtra SEXtra Credit: Report back on your research/go to nursing school.

22 Nov 201942min

Episode 79: PCOS with Riley

Episode 79: PCOS with Riley

Dr Doe and Riley (@The_RileyWilson) discuss PCOS and it’s challenges. Podcast idea: “The PCOS Podcast” SEX-tra credit: Listen to someone's PCOS experiences. Please support this podcast: https://www.patreon.com/sexplanations Check out Sexplanations videos on https://youtube/sexpanations Thank you dear listeners.

15 Nov 201949min

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