How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479] Summer of Mentorship Week Three

How to Stay Calm with Strong Willed Kids? :: Kirk Martin [Ep 479] Summer of Mentorship Week Three

I love Kirk’s realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today’s episode you will have at least three different “tricks” to apply.
Most of all, I’m thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys’ behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I’ve enjoyed the boys more. I’m also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
This episode originally aired in May of 2015
Kirk came back on the show multiple times. Check out additional episodes here.
What we chat about:
  • Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
  • The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
  • The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
  • How to calmly handle your child’s meltdown

I can only control one person in life, and that’s me.

  • How motion changes emotion–helping little ones calm down b/c they don’t know how to “think” their way out.
  • What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
  • Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather’s daily 5 pm reality).

If you don’t care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?

  • How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
  • How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
  • Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.

Connect with Kirk:
Site :: Twitter :: Facebook :: Podcast
Links Mentioned:
  • CDs/DVDs
  • 888-506-1871–Toll Free Number for Frustrated Parents

Summer of Mentorship Discussion Questions:
  • Discuss Kirk’s realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son’s strong-willed behavior.
  • If you struggle to stay calm when your kids are out of control, what are some of your triggers?
  • Which of Kirk’s ideas to de-escalate a situation is most realistic for you? Thinking about how motion changes emotion.
  • How did you react to Kirk’s idea of being an “impartial giver of wisdom” instead of being so invested in how your kids behave?
  • Spend some time working through a part of your day that is most challenging or a situation with a particular child and brainstorm ways you could respond differently. Share with others in the group and get their ideas if you are willing.

Featured Sponsors:
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  • Better Help: This episode is sponsored by Better Help. Stop comparing and start focusing, with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/dma today to get 10% off your first month.
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Episoder(500)

Thinking Differently About Sabbath :: Shelly Miller [Ep 181]

Thinking Differently About Sabbath :: Shelly Miller [Ep 181]

You may know you “should” keep the Sabbath. And perhaps you then get stuck on “how”. Hopefully this episode will remove the shameful burden of “should” and shift the question from “how” to “who”. Shelly Miller, author of Rhythms of Rest, joins me in helping you develop a rhythm to cease from work and celebrate true rest in Jesus. But what does sabbath rest look like specifically for young moms and those in ministry? Listen in as Shelly talks through the difference between routines and rhythms, and Jesus’ call to embrace what is easy and light. What we chat about: What does it mean to practice sabbath in 2017? Separating the sabbath from rules and regulations, and embracing what is “easy and light.” The way we rest is unique to who we are, and may be different from how even our family members find rest. Prioritizing rest as a family and coming up with a plan for how each family member can practice sabbath. The main goal isn’t a set amount of time or even a day, but setting apart time time to rest Discovering the difference between routines and rhythms. How planning and preparation impact our ability to rest. Advice for the mom whose family is uninterested in implementing the sabbath. Finding like-minded community in Shelly’s Sabbath Society. Links Mentioned: Rhythms of Rest by Shelly Miller **  Sabbath Society Carey Bailey — Life Coach Emily P. Freeman — The Next Right Thing Podcast

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Scripture tells us to ‘cast our cares upon the Lord’. But how do we practically obey that command while gripped by the stronghold of anxiety? Today I’m talking with Ashley Willis about battling anxiety, a topic she’s experienced first hand. Whether you’ve experienced anxiety personally or not, chances are someone in your life will. Listen as Ashley discusses practical ways to get to the root of anxiety, and how to fight fear with the truth of God’s Word. We’re answering the questions you shared with me over on Instagram. Questions about whether anxiety is a sin, when/if medication should be used, how to help a spouse who is anxious and several other questions. Thank you for being brave in sharing your stories with me. You are not alone. What we chat about: Is a Christian’s struggle with anxiety a form of sin? Coping with anxiety by understanding the lies the mind believes and replacing those lies with the truth of God’s Word. When to address anxiety with Christian counseling and medication, if necessary. How do we practically obey the command of casting our cares upon the Lord? Wrestling with the decision to take medication for anxiety and depression. The importance of addressing the root of anxiety and not just the symptoms. Fighting anxiety by reciting Scripture and praying out loud. How to come alongside family members battling anxiety. The importance of talking openly about anxiety in safe contexts, especially as moms. Keeping the fear of “what-if’s” from overrunning our lives. Jesus’ example of spending time alone to commune with His Father. Biblical Counseling Resources: American Association of Christian Counselors The Timothy Center (Online Counseling Options) Association of Certified Biblical Counselors Southlake Christian Counseling (Video Counseling Options) Tiffany Ashenfelter (Skype Sessions) Spero Therapy Services (Skype Sessions available) Links Mentioned: 31 Verses and Prayers for the Anxious Mind and Heart** Emotional Milestones :: Interview with Sissy Goff & David Thomas (Ep 160) ADHD :: Sarah Furlich (Ep 165) Video of Dave Willis giving Sermon on the Mount (click here to watch if reading via email):

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You clearly heard God’s call. But why is obeying Him sometimes so difficult? In today’s interview my longtime friend and renowned author, Tricia Goyer, discusses obeying the Lord even when it isn’t easy, and how He blesses the faithfulness of His children. Listen as Tricia discusses the unique way the Lord grew her family through unplanned pregnancies, biological children, foster care, and adoption. You’ll love her honesty and transparency as she shares the hard moments that had her questioning decisions, and the way the Lord has blessed her family along the way. What we chat about: Obeying the Lord’s call to adopt (again and again and again) even after feeling “finished” Taking a break from speaking and writing to shepherd her daughters as they healed from past trauma. The sacrifice of stepping away from public ministry to focus on personal ministry at home. Understanding God’s heart and direction for our lives by spending time in His Word and in prayer Being called to multiple ministries and projects Seeing a need that coincides with God’s commands from His Word Trusting God while navigating His direction for our lives Obeying God even when it’s hard and you find yourself asking, “why did I do this?” Reaching out to our support systems when walking through hard providence Finding beauty in the chaos and being thankful for the hard times Moses communed with God face to face despite being called to a seemingly impossible The importance of steadfast obedience even though we want a quick fix The legacy we pass to our children when they see us obey the Lord despite difficulty Links Mentioned: “Night Song” ** “Daring Escape” (releases Jan 2018) ** Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby ** “Walk it Out” **

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Drop the Superwoman Myth :: Jessica Honegger [Ep 178]

Mom and entrepreneur Jessica Honegger shares a bit of her story behind starting her business Noonday Collection and a whole lot of truth about partnering with God in both motherhood AND entrepreneurship. This has definitely been a journey where God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called. I didn’t have a background in fashion or an MBA, but I have always been passionate about bringing justice for the poor and more opportunities to those in our midst who haven’t had as much opportunities. Jump into her story with me and get ready for real-talk about letting go of cultural norms and superwoman myths and finding freedom in who God says you are. It’s just the pep talk we need to do the things God has called us to do and not sit any longer in fear, insecurity and comparison. "Get up and go!!" What we chat about: The background story of Noonday Collection. How Jessica started her business when her children were small and struggled with the definition of a “good mom”. Finding freedom knowing there wasn’t a dichotomy between being a mom and a businesswoman. Focusing on what helps your individual family flourish instead of following others’ paths Getting clarity from God on who he says you are brings healing and gives us freedom to pursue the work he has for us. God has not called us to just sit and pray, but to go and be out in the world doing his work. Stopping the superwoman myth and admitting we need help in areas of life, especially in areas we aren’t gifted in or don’t enjoy. Creating the spaces and community we need--focusing on what you have.  How to support friends who run small businesses. Stories of people whose lives have been impacted by Noonday Collection.

24 Sep 201744min

Hope When Hit a Financial Bottom Erin Odom Ep 177

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Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

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Gospel Parenting Paul David Tripp Ep 176

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Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

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Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

3 Sep 201745min

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Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.

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