126. How to heal a fear of abandonment

Does chasing your "best self" ever feel like an endless race? You're constantly striving, optimizing your routines, and learning new skills, yet sometimes a quiet exhaustion creeps in, or you wonder if you're truly any happier. It's as if the very pursuit of perfection leaves you feeling perpetually inadequate. In today's episode, we're diving into the hidden costs of this modern obsession with betterment: when personal growth can go too far. Things we discuss:• The deep-seated desire to grow and reach our potential• The impact of societal pressures and the booming self-improvement industry• Understanding the roles of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation• When toxic over-striving is disguised as discipline• Self-improvement burnout• Actionable ways to cultivate sustainable growth If the non-stop quest for "more" sometimes leaves you feeling depleted, this episode is for you. Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0 ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 Jul 49min

Does your brain seem to hit replay on that embarrassing memory, or go over the way that situationship ended in hopes you’ll find some kind of closure? From dissecting past conversations to catastrophising about what might happen, repetitive thinking can feel like a mental trap. In today's episode, we break down the psychology of rumination: why our minds get stuck in these unhelpful thought cycles, and how we can actively disengage to find mental clarity. Things we discuss: What rumination truly is and what it isn't The distinctions between everyday rumination and OCD Metacognition: thinking about our thinking Cognitive diffusion and detaching from thoughts Using mindfulness and grounding techniques to anchor yourself in the present Taking back your attention from thought spirals If you’re tired of your mind rerunning your “best and worst” moments, this episode is for you. Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0 Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbegFollow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcastFor business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

8 Jul 48min

Is your job making you feel drained, disconnected, or just deeply unfulfilled? In today’s episode, we unpack the five major signs that your career may not be the right fit — from emotional numbness and burnout, to identity disalignment and daydreaming about quitting more than staying. We explore: The importance of occupational identity Why boredom is a worse sign than anxiety at work How to find all 10 of your dream jobs The long term impact of hating your job Why starting over is always the right choice + so much more Happy listening! Listen to Mantra here: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=949e13c52f194637 Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

3 Jul 39min

Why do we form intense, one-sided bonds with people we've never met? From favourite podcasters and social media influencers to beloved fictional characters, parasocial relationships are a defining feature of modern life – but what do these seemingly non-reciprocal connections truly reveal about our need for connection? In today’s episode, we explore the psychology of parasocial relationships: why our brains are wired for these intimate-at-a-distance bonds, and how they play a surprisingly significant role, especially in our twenties. We explore: Characteristics of parasocial relationships Why our ancient brains are predisposed to form these connections The parasocial relationships spectrum, from casual engagement to pathological obsession The profound positive benefits of companionship and role modelling When parasocial relationships become imbalanced How to cultivate healthy engagement with online personalities Whether you feel like you're best friends with a YouTuber or just curious about the invisible ties that bind us to media figures, this episode is for you. Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0 Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1 Jul 49min

Sharing a little life update with you around my mental health, my physical health, where my minds at, what I've been struggling with and how I'm constantly reminded that life can always get better!!!!! ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

26 Jun 30min

We've all seen the headlines about celebrity couples with significant age differences. We’ve heard the stereotypes, from "trophy partners" and “cougar’s” to "she must have daddy issues". But what is the genuine psychological pull that draws individuals to partners that are much older or younger? In today’s episode, we explore the psychology behind the often speculated age gap relationships. Things we discuss: Why evolutionary perspectives paint an incomplete picture The value of intergenerational platonic relationships Challenging stereotypes and stigma How to navigate different life stages The role of communication and shared values in building healthy age gap relationships If you're in an age gap relationship, interested in understanding them better, or simply intrigued by the nuances of human connection, this episode is for you. Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0 Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

24 Jun 56min

Do you feel as though you’re living in a constant whirlwind of deadlines, drama, and endless tasks, yet secretly feel a thrill from the chaos? This episode unpacks the question, ‘are we addicted to chaos?’ and why our brains might actually be drawn to this tumultuous state. We dive into the neurochemical rewards that hook us, how this plays out in our relationships and careers, and the hidden costs of living in perpetual overwhelm. We look at the deeper psychological roots and learn actionable steps to cultivate intentional calm amidst life's inevitable pressures. Things we discuss:• Why dopamine and adrenaline make chaos feel rewarding• The draw of novelty, intensity, and seeking stimulation• How chaos manifests in our lives• The hidden costs of chronic chaos• Psychological roots of our addiction to chaos• Actionable strategies to reclaim calm and redefine productivity in your twenties If your life feels like a constant fire drill, or you suspect you secretly thrive on the last-minute rush, this episode is for you. Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0 Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbegFollow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcastFor business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

20 Jun 38min

Ever found yourself hitting play on that song, and instantly, a wave of emotion hits you, or you’re transported back to a forgotten summer, a specific laugh, a past version of yourself? It feels like magic, right? But beneath those goosebumps and surges of feeling lies an incredible, intricate psychological dance. In today's episode, we’re diving deep into the psychology of music – exploring why this universal language speaks directly to our nervous system, how it shapes our memories and identity, and critically, how we use it to cope (for better or worse) in our twenties. We explore: Why music evokes a full body experience Music and nostalgia How music develops and shapes our identity When music can act as a coping mechanism How to use music to shift your mood and focus If you've ever felt like your life has a custom soundtrack, or if you can't imagine a day without your headphones, this episode is for you. Listen to Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0 Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

17 Jun 44min