160. Are you ready to date again ft. The Real Talk Therapist

Many of us battle with a deep-rooted fear and anxiety that those we love will leave us. Maybe we have been hurt in a past relationship, or witnessed a messy divorce or the passing of ones we love and we have unconsciously learned to associated vulnerability, intimacy and love with pain and disappointment. This fear of abandonment can cause us to sabotage otherwise perfectly healthy relationships or to push people away out of an irrational fear they will leave us, only to end up just as alone as if they had. In this episode we explore the following:  What is the root cause of the fear of abandonment? The different types of abandonment reactions - the saboteur, the clingy, the avoidant and the serial dater  Links to codependency and emotional unavailability  How to heal our abandonment wounds  We all want to accept others into out lives and trust the people we love will stay by our side so if you're struggling with an irrational fear or anxiety of abandonment, listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  If you enjoy this content, please consider subscribing to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

15 Sep 202346min

The new reality of dating in your 20s is that the majority of us who are single are on the dating apps. Tinder, Hinge and Bumble have completely changed how we approach dating by expanding our options, making dating convenient and accessible and are increasingly becoming the way many of us meet our partners. A study conducted by the Pew Research Centre found that almost half of us between 18 and 29 have used a dating app. Yet, this has also transformed a lot of our offline behaviours towards dating. In this episode we break down the psychology behind dating apps including:  The impact of choice overload The psychology behind our romantic preferences  The scarcity effect  Seeking validation through dating apps Dopamine and swipe based dating  Dealing with rejection and dating app burnout  We are also joined by the wonderful Lucille McCart from Bumble who discusses how we can use dating apps to their full potential in our 20s. She explains how we can convert our online matches into real world connections, why you should be the one asking people on dates and the benefit dating people outside of your 'type'. All of that a more. Listen now.  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

11 Sep 202354min

A lot of us in our 20s feel the urge to upend everything and move to a new city - maybe for work, for a partner or just for the pure adventure of a new experience and environment. So in this episode we're going to break down why our 20s are perhaps the best time to make this major life change, from the lack of external responsibilities to the psychological benefits it brings, including self reflection, promoting a growth mindset and realising our ideal selves. We'll also explore why the urge to move to a new city really reflects our innate novelty seeking behaviour and why some people, the so called 'serial movers', can never seem to stay in one place for long. And finally, what are some of the practical ways we can actually do this and build community, maintain financial security, avoid feeling isolated? And what exactly is the so-called '6 month' rule? All of that and more, listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

8 Sep 202340min

It's been a while since my last life update so I thought we would take a bit of a breather and sit down for a nice chatty episode, just for you all the loyal podcast listeners, discussing all the recent changes and surprises that have been transpiring in my life as of late. From discovering what a healthy relationship looks like after years of tragic dating stories, the end of my single era, to moving to NYC and writing a book (!!!) there is so much to cover, alongside answering some of your burning questions. Listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

5 Sep 202350min

Increasingly, those of us in our 20s are facing an exceeding pressure to be exceptional and have a million accomplishments and accolades under our belt. If we are not successful, what are we worth? Examples like the Forbes 30 under 30, the wunderkind phenomena and young success stories all make us feel like we're not achieving enough or are falling behind. Today we're going to break down exactly why we feel this way, using theories around self determination, observational learning and social comparison. We'll also examine how we can break away from our need to be defined by our successes using practices like mindfullness, examining our online persona and capturing delight to use our 20s to explore rather than excel. Listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

1 Sep 202336min

Each of us deals with feelings of embarrassment, awkwardness and feeling social self conscious every now and then. But social anxiety can cause us a level of emotional, mental and physical discomfort that disrupts out ability to build authentic connection and can hold us back. In this episode we break down the psychology of social anxiety, particularly deconstructing the belief that everyone is judging us or that the opinions of others matter. We look at the distinction between everyday anxiety and a social phobia, the links to perfectionism and overthinking and methods for managing our social anxiety including the "so what" mentality and treating our anxiety like excitement rather than fear to allow us to pursue social authenticity over perfectionism. All that and more, listen now! Subscribe to my Patreon to support the show: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

29 Aug 202336min

In this week's episode we discuss the psychology of your ego and what its trying to tell us! Ego can feel nasty and entitled but it comes from a place of deep insecurity that we need to unpack before we can truly understand ourselves. We look at the 6 signs your ego is in control, where ego comes from and how to replace it with self esteem and humility. We also discuss why ego and self confidence are different things even though they sometimes look similar: how ego is insecure, inconsistent and relies on the perceived inferiority of others whilst confidence is stable, sure and kind. Remember, you are not your ego so in this episode we talk how to rein it in, accept it as part of who we are and move forward. Listen now.  My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s  My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

24 Aug 202341min

Love, dating and friendships can feel like a black box in our 20s when we're trying to make the most out of our formative years. None of us have the answers or a guide to some of our biggest questions - how do I actually make new friends, how many friends should I have, should I be settling down this early or exploring my options? In part two of this series we breakdown how to make the most out of our personal relationships during this decade. We discuss why your answer should always be 'yes', why quantity over quality may actually be more correct when it comes to friendships in our 20s and the benefit on getting our heart broken and loving as deeply as possible during this period. We also cover my 7 tips for personal growth to make the most out of this decade, from letting go of our ego to taking time to uncover our childhood wounds, as well as the power of just having a laugh at yourself every now and then. All that and more, listen now!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

22 Aug 202350min