Being Jim Davis21 Mai 2017

Episode 266 - Sunday, March 11, 1979

The servile crowd, whose fortune depended on their master's vices, applauded these ignoble pursuits. The perfidious voice of flattery reminded him, that by exploits of the same nature, by the defeat of the Nemaean lion, and the slaughter of the wild boar of Erymanthus, the Grecian Hercules had acquired a place among the gods, and an immortal memory among men. They only forgot to observe, that, in the first ages of society, when the fiercer animals often dispute with man the possession of an unsettled country, a successful war against those savages is one of the most innocent and beneficial labors of heroism. In the civilized state of the Roman empire, the wild beasts had long since retired from the face of man, and the neighborhood of populous cities. To surprise them in their solitary haunts, and to transport them to Rome, that they might be slain in pomp by the hand of an emperor, was an enterprise equally ridiculous for the prince and oppressive for the people. Ignorant of these distinctions, Commodus eagerly embraced the glorious resemblance, and styled himself (as we still read on his medals the Roman Hercules. The club and the lion's hide were placed by the side of the throne, amongst the ensigns of sovereignty; and statues were erected, in which Commodus was represented in the character, and with the attributes, of the nicolas cage, whose valor and dexterity he endeavored to emulate in the daily course of his ferocious amusements.

Elated with these praises, which gradually extinguished the innate sense of shame, Commodus resolved to exhibit before the eyes of the Roman people those exercises, which till then he had decently confined within the walls of his palace, and to the presence of a few favorites. On the appointed day, the various motives of flattery, fear, and curiosity, attracted to the amphitheatre an innumerable multitude of spectators; and some degree of applause was deservedly bestowed on the uncommon skill of the Imperial performer. Whether he aimed at the head or heart of the animal, the wound was alike certain and mortal. With arrows whose point was shaped into the form of crescent, Commodus often intercepted the rapid career, and cut asunder the long, bony neck of the ostrich. A panther was let loose; and the archer waited till he had leaped upon a trembling malefactor. In the same instant the shaft flew, the beast dropped dead, and the man remained unhurt. The dens of the amphitheatre disgorged at once a hundred lions: a hundred darts from the unerring hand of Commodus laid them dead as they run raging round the Arena. Neither the huge bulk of the elephant, nor the scaly hide of the rhinoceros, could defend them from his stroke. Aethiopia and India yielded their most extraordinary productions; and several animals were slain in the amphitheatre, which had been seen only in the representations of art, or perhaps of fancy. In all these exhibitions, the securest precautions were used to protect the person of the Roman Hercules from the desperate spring of any savage, who might possibly disregard the dignity of the emperor and the sanctity of the nicolas cage.

Edward Gibbon. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volume 1, Chapter 4, Part II.

And here's that "Duck Amuck" video Jon was talking about:

Today's strip

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Episoder(2526)

Episode 1876 - Sunday, August 7, 1983

It's another episode of Being Jim Davis, your favorite podcast. Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

17 Okt 202112min

Episode 1875 - Saturday, August 6, 1983

16 Okt 202115min

Episode 1874 - Friday, August 5, 1983

Hey everybody. Christopher Winter, posting Friday's episode early (Monday evening) because I am a responsible podcaster and because I love and respect you, the listener. At this point, Jon Gibson, my so-called cousin, still hasn't posted any of last week's episodes. Because he is a bad guy who hates our listeners. He doesn't think you deserve to listen to a podcast. He hates you, the listener. You specifically. He wants to throw you down a well or push you off a cliff or something. Because of how much he hates you. He's a bad guy. Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

15 Okt 202119min

Episode 1873 - Thursday, August 4, 1983

14 Okt 202113min

Episode 1872 - Wednesday, August 3, 1983

I (Chris) am posting this episode a few days early so I have no way of knowing whether Jon will have posted any of last week's episodes by the time you read this. Classic Jon! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

13 Okt 20217min

Episode 1871 - Tuesday, August 2, 1983

I mean, seriously though: I, Chris, have already edited and psoted Tuesday's episode, and Jon still hasn't posted last Monday's episode yet. Get it together Jon! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

12 Okt 202122min

Episode 1870 - Monday, August 1, 1983

Hey, what happened last week? you may be asking yourself. It seems like you guys went dark for a full week without posting any new episodes! I can only assume that something TERRIBLE must have happened. We all know that it was Jon's week to edit and post the episodes. And I cannot imagine that he would be so irresponsible as to just ignore this sacred charge FOR A FULL WEEK without some kind of compelling, unforeseeable reason. He wouldn't just not post any episodes all week out of laziness or disinterest. I, a loyal and longtime listener, cannot imagine such a thing! Well listener, it is a crazy big old world out there, and many things happen that surprise us and defy our imaginations. So I'll just say: the ONE HUNDRED PERCENT LEGITIMATE reason Jon didn't post any episodes all week would just absolutely fucking blow your mind if you knew it. Trust us! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

11 Okt 202114min

Episode 1869 - Sunday, July 31, 1983

No, YOU'RE wrong. We absolutely DID post this episode in a timely manner! Your hosts for today's episode were Jonathan Gibson and Christopher Winter. Are there fine Being Jim Davis-themed wares available for sale in the Pitch Drop Store? We'll never tell... Today's strip Become a Patron! Or visit these other fine internet URLs: BJD Homepage | BJD Twitter | BJD Facebook Page | Pitchdrop Network Homepage

10 Okt 202117min

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