S02 E35 | Ashley Young Getting Bird Poo In His Mouth: The Ride, The Damp Squib Factor & The Watcher

Greetings from Qatar!

For the first time in Footballland history, the boys are in the Middle East! Anthony is in the Holiday Inn in Doha, Ryan is in The Marriott in Doha, and Mark is in Saudi Arabia. Time is really running out to build this park - at this rate we’re looking at building one ride per day before it opens - but Mark suggests we invent THREE more attractions this week before starting construction in earnest next Monday.

Ashley Young Getting Bird Poo In His Mouth: The Ride

Remember when Ashley Young jogged along the pitch with his mouth slightly open and a bird (possibly a seagull) pooed in it? It was an iconic moment in English football and to date has never been turned into a ride at a theme park. That is about to change, with Ashley Young Getting Bird Poo In His Mouth: The Ride.

The Damp Squib Factor

Football is mostly a bit rubbish, isn’t it? Games can be hyped up beyond all recognition on Sky Sports then the game is so offensively dull the image is burned onto your plasma TV screen. Our chief ride engineer Mark insists that we make Footballland a bit rubbish somehow so that football fans get the true football experience, and none of that Disney muck.

The Watcher

At Footballland we’re keen for fans to have a good time before they even get here, so we’re rigging up 360 webcams in the park so that guests can watch from a variety of authentic footballing angles. If you like watching other people having fun, this one’s for you!

Remember, we *need* your ride ideas to fill up Footballland. Send them to us. Send them to us NOW. We’ll discuss every single one on the show.

Most Kind Regards,

Anthony Richardson (CEO of Footballland)

Mark Davison (Lord Sir Chief Ride Engineer)

Ryan Baxter (Intern)

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