Spider Parents: Finding Freedom from Dependence

The spider is a symbol of generative and destructive capabilities. As creator, spider spins the sustaining web of life. As predator, spider’s sticky web is an inescapable trap. Parents weave webs of familial ties, cultural norms, and generational patterns that contain—or restrain--their children. Emotional strings of attachment or enmeshment affect how—or if—a young adult child is released into the world.

A net of comfort and connection can become a web of entanglement and stultification. The tale of Sleeping Beauty portrays the stasis that ensues when parents try to protect their child from future dangers. Hindering destiny’s call to independence and individuation only obstructs the flow of life. Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. Kahlil Gibran

Here's the dream we analyze:

"I was on a hospital bed, due to a heart attack. Doctors were trying to send an electric wave to measure my heart damage--and I was terrified of the pain it may cause. Doctors told me that if it hurts I need surgery immediately. I was watching the screen, and it didn’t hurt at all. Doctors told me that my heart was really strong and that I can go home. I felt relieved. Then a nurse walked over to me and handed a piece of paper, a note from someone, and said I have to go see this other patient. The note was from Su, a high school female friend that betrayed me, a person that I don't think about at all. The note said that I need to take care of her babies. I was so confused. I walked over to the room, found her sitting on the bed. She pointed the babies to me and asked for help. I didn't talk to her. She has just given birth, and 3 little bundles were in a crib next to her. I lifted the bundles and they didn't look like babies, they were marble white and looked weird. Almost looked like the Hindu god with the elephant trunk- god Ganesh I think. I dropped them on the floor. I wanted to check whether they are real. I filled them with milk and said they are alive. I was so confused. I woke up."

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