Embracing Perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler

Embracing Perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler

Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals. About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:35: Defining perfectionism 6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving 12:40: The five types of perfectionists 21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short 28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism 34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work 38:10: The difference between power and control 44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection 49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships 54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success 1:07:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(456)

The Therapy Wars: Science, Self-Help, and that IFS Article

The Therapy Wars: Science, Self-Help, and that IFS Article

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the major topics in psychology today: the tension between "mainstream" and "alternative" approaches, and how to understand evidence-based care. Using the recent IF...

15 Des 20251h 41min

Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

Borderline Personality: DBT and Working with Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

Forrest is joined by psychiatrist Dr. Blaise Aguirre to discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). They explore how extreme emotional sensitivity can lead ...

8 Des 20251h 12min

Toxic Relationships: Why We Stay and How to Leave

Toxic Relationships: Why We Stay and How to Leave

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore toxic relationships, focusing on how to identify and exit them. Rick talks about how positive traits like empathy, loyalty, and a sense of duty can keep us stuck. They th...

1 Des 20251h 24min

Dr. Becky on Becoming the Person (and Parent) You Needed

Dr. Becky on Becoming the Person (and Parent) You Needed

Dr. Becky Kennedy joins Forrest for a conversation about building better relationships, with ourselves, our partners, and our children. They talk about Dr. Becky’s framework of “good inside,” and how ...

24 Nov 20251h 30min

Dealing with Guilt Trips, Boundaries, and Non-Monogamy: November Mailbag

Dealing with Guilt Trips, Boundaries, and Non-Monogamy: November Mailbag

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about effective communication, healthy relationships, and contentment. They explore how defining boundaries, taking maximum reason...

17 Nov 20251h 15min

How to Be Yourself: Authenticity in Relationships with Elizabeth Ferreira

How to Be Yourself: Authenticity in Relationships with Elizabeth Ferreira

In this very fun episode, Forrest and Elizabeth discuss how to get on the same team in a relationship. They explore how conditions of worth, masking, and developmental trauma can get in the way of sho...

10 Nov 20251h 12min

Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic and the Power of Intergenerational Friendships: Feed Drop

Fighting the Loneliness Epidemic and the Power of Intergenerational Friendships: Feed Drop

Today we’re featuring an episode from another show I think you’re really going to connect with: Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health. Can a meaningful friendship bridge a 51-year age gap and help...

6 Nov 202534min

Trauma Masterclass: Understanding and Repairing Our Hidden Wounds

Trauma Masterclass: Understanding and Repairing Our Hidden Wounds

Today we’re revisiting some of our favorite episodes to explore one of the most salient topics in psychology today: trauma. We begin by tracing its developmental roots with Dr. Lindsay Gibson and Dr. ...

3 Nov 20252h 43min

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