I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(519)

Alice Wong On Medicaid, Rage, and “Good Care”

Alice Wong On Medicaid, Rage, and “Good Care”

Anna first talked with disability rights activist Alice Wong in 2020 about self-advocacy, as well as how she manages money, Medicaid, and her and her parents' futures. But after a health crisis, Alice shared an update. You can read more of Alice’s recent essays in Teen Vogue (https://www.teenvogue.com/story/alice-wong-hospitalization-crowdfunding-community), for CNN (https://www.cnn.com/2023/02/22/opinions/caregiver-advocacy-legislation-wong-ctrp/index.html), and on the Disability Visibility Project’s website (https://disabilityvisibilityproject.com/2022/08/07/my-icu-summer-a-photo-essay/). Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

29 Mar 202347min

Kate Bowler on Shame, Productivity, and Living with Chronic Pain

Kate Bowler on Shame, Productivity, and Living with Chronic Pain

The professor and Everything Happens podcast host talks about growing up in a Mennonite community, living with chronic pain, and the small things that bring her joy. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Mar 202341min

How to Face Your Fears With Steve-O, Laurel Braitman, and Rev. angel

How to Face Your Fears With Steve-O, Laurel Braitman, and Rev. angel

We asked you to tell us about the fears in your life that are holding you back. In this episode, we share your stories and questions with Steve-O, Laurel Braitman, and Rev. angel Kyodo williams. Each of them, in one way or another, had fear and bravery inform their work and their lives. They offer advice and insights on what’s worked for them, and what they’ve learned from navigating fear. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Mar 202356min

A Trans Parent’s Adoption Journey

A Trans Parent’s Adoption Journey

Anna first talked with Liam and Marisa about their love story back in 2014. Nine years later, we hear about the next chapter of their relationship: becoming parents. Update: We changed the title of this episode after publishing to be more accurate. It was initially called "Adopting As A Trans Couple." Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Mar 202342min

My Sex Life Became A Screenshot. Then I Lost My Job.

My Sex Life Became A Screenshot. Then I Lost My Job.

Erick Adame was a TV weatherman. Then someone sent pictures to his employer, his mother, and his boyfriend of him performing sex acts on a webcam. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Mar 202345min

How to Say Goodbye to Your Pets

How to Say Goodbye to Your Pets

Your stories of loving—and losing—your beloved animal companions. Plus, an end-of-life veterinarian offers advice on knowing when to say goodbye. Some of you also shared resources for dealing with the loss of a pet. Here are a few of those suggestions: Sara recommended a TEDx talk by veterinarian Dr. Sarah Hoggan on the lingering impact of pet euthanasia. Looking for books to read? Margaret recommended “Good Grief” by E.B. Bartels, Flora shared “Lifetimes” by Bryan Mellonie, Sophia offered Mary Oliver’s book of poems “Dog Songs,” and for more poetry, Jeni suggested Lynne Schimdt’s “Dead Dog Poems.” A listener named David told us about the Jimmy Stewart interview on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson where Jimmy reads a tearjerker of a poem about his late dog, Beau. Watch it here. Aileen shared an episode of Encyclopodia podcast where Dr. Allison Bergin discussed end-of-life care for pets. A listener named Ali told us about Dr. Amanda Stronza (@amandastronza on Instagram), an anthropologist and conservationist who writes about her experiences with pet loss online. And finally, another listener shared a CBS Sunday Morning story about Dog Mountain in St. Johnsbury, Vermont. Learn more about it here. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

22 Feb 202332min

Your One Night Stand Stories, Revisited

Your One Night Stand Stories, Revisited

Today, we're celebrating the very short-term romance: the one night stand. Those moments in life when someone appeared in a flash, you connected, and then you went your separate ways. *This episode originally ran in 2021. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15 Feb 202323min

Gabrielle Union Completes Herself

Gabrielle Union Completes Herself

The actor talks about having agency over her body, her relationships and her career, even as she lives with the trauma of sexual assault and infertility.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

8 Feb 202337min

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