I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(519)

Margo Price After Cheating and Drinking

Margo Price After Cheating and Drinking

The country musician talks candidly about loss—of a generational family farm and the death of her newborn—and coping with infidelity and an abusive relationship with alcohol.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

1 Feb 202336min

Your Estrangement Calls Answered Live

Your Estrangement Calls Answered Live

This week, we bring our estrangement series to an end with a live call-in show co-hosted by Anna Sale and WNYC’s Kai Wright, host of the Notes from America podcast. Kai and Anna heard from listeners all around the country about how stark disagreements — particularly around politics and key values — led to estrangement with families, long-time friends and also long-time romantic relationships. Plus, Rebecca Martinez Fitzgerald, a therapist based in Durham, North Carolina, offered advice on how to move forward. If you’re living with estrangement, check out some of our listener recommendations on what’s helped, and listen to Kai’s show, Notes from America, wherever you get podcasts or on WNYC's YouTube channel. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

25 Jan 202339min

From Fan to Friend: The Unlikely Friendship Between Pico Iyer and Leonard Cohen

From Fan to Friend: The Unlikely Friendship Between Pico Iyer and Leonard Cohen

Pico Iyer, author of "The Half-Known Life," reflects on deliberately walking away from his dream job, his decades-long friendship with Leonard Cohen, and surrendering to the unknown. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18 Jan 202334min

Why the Creators of "Everything Everywhere All At Once" Treat Their Partnership Like a Marriage

Why the Creators of "Everything Everywhere All At Once" Treat Their Partnership Like a Marriage

Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, known as Daniels, on their friendship, learning to play to their strengths, and making their hit film Everything Everywhere All At Once. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

11 Jan 202339min

Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer-Camp Talk About Their Divorce, Anxiety, and Slowing Down

Jenny Slate and Dean Fleischer-Camp Talk About Their Divorce, Anxiety, and Slowing Down

The co-creators of Marcel the Shell with Shoes On talk about collaborating while getting divorced, navigating grief, and finding joy in the everyday. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

4 Jan 202336min

Trevor Noah Talks Depression, Radical Honesty, and Braiding Hair

Trevor Noah Talks Depression, Radical Honesty, and Braiding Hair

The former host of The Daily Show sometimes struggles to get out of bed. But he's comfortable saying that with a smile.  *This episode originally ran in 2019. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Des 202225min

Radiolab’s Lulu Miller Steals All Her Best Ideas From Her Kids

Radiolab’s Lulu Miller Steals All Her Best Ideas From Her Kids

Anna talks with Terrestrials host and creator Lulu Miller about becoming a parent and being inspired by her kids’ curiosities. Plus, a clip from Terrestrials’ “The Water Walker.” We recommend you check out the whole incredible series here. Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out a note from Anna, fascinating listener letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Des 202220min

Estrangement’s Alternate Endings

Estrangement’s Alternate Endings

In our last episode, we look at how estrangement changes shape over the course of a life: how it can bend or harden, and how it affects new relationships, old memories, and the idea of family.  Did you know we have a weekly email newsletter for the Death, Sex & Money community? Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox, and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and follow the show on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Des 202236min

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