I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

I Was Afraid of Losing Myself to Motherhood. I Found Myself Instead.

Elissa Strauss always knew she wanted to be a mother, but she also knew she didn’t want motherhood to take over her personality. After all, she had spent years as a blogger making fun of anyone who took motherhood too seriously. She bemoaned the natural birth movement and people who made “mom friends.” Then Elissa had a son, and her view of caretaking started to shift. “I had put so much energy into figuring out how not to lose myself to caregiving,” Elissa writes in her new book, “that I completely ignored the possibility that I might, in fact, find some of myself there.” In this episode, Anna and Elissa talk about why it feels uncool to talk about liking motherhood, the ways caretaking can take from us, but also how it can fill us up and engender “moral transformation.” Plus, the economics of care, and what really valuing care in society would look like. Elissa’s book is called When You Care: the Unexpected Magic of Caring for Others. She also wrote a piece last month in Slate called “It’s Weird Times to Be a Happy Mother.” Are you a paid caregiver? We want to hear from you for a future listener episode. Tell us some things you’ve taken away from the experience – wild stories, observations about class, lessons about the way you want your own loved ones to be cared for. Send us your thoughts and stories at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus. And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episoder(521)

How Are You "Surfing The Urge" To Drink?

How Are You "Surfing The Urge" To Drink?

This month, we've been talking about drinking, and asking you what you do when the impulse to drink hits⁠—and you don't want to indulge.  Sign up for our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you podcast listening recommendations, listener letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.  Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Aug 20197min

Michael Arceneaux On Love, Liquid Courage And Letting Go

Michael Arceneaux On Love, Liquid Courage And Letting Go

The writer talks about how alcohol has helped him let go of his inhibitions and embrace his sexuality—after growing up in a house where drinking often led to violence. In our last episode, we asked you about what you do when you're trying to cut back on drinking—and the desire for a drink hits. What do you do instead? Record a voice memo and send it in to deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.  Sign up for our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you podcast listening recommendations, listener letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.  Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Aug 201927min

Bottled Up: Your Stories About Drinking

Bottled Up: Your Stories About Drinking

We asked you about your relationships with alcohol—why you drink, or don't, the strategies you use to manage your consumption, and what alcohol brings you besides a buzz. Here's what you told us. If you or someone you know is struggling with alcohol or seeking more information about alcohol consumption, check out these resources. Sign up for our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you podcast listening recommendations, listener letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Follow our show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram @deathsexmoney. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.  Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Jul 201942min

Rashema Melson's Weakest Yet Bravest Moments

Rashema Melson's Weakest Yet Bravest Moments

Rashema Melson recently got her college degree. Leading up to graduation day, she cracked open the "time capsules" we recorded with her, right before she dropped out of Georgetown—and right before she came back. Sign up for our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Jul 201928min

A Brother, A Sister, And Their Eating Disorders

A Brother, A Sister, And Their Eating Disorders

Two siblings open up to each other about eating and mental health, and why it took them so long to be honest about it with each other.  Sign up for our newsletter at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter, and every Wednesday we'll send you podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. And follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Jul 201925min

When Work Changes, So Do We

When Work Changes, So Do We

As I return from maternity leave, I'm thinking a lot about work and identity. So is Uma Kondabolu, who recently retired from the place where she worked for almost 30 years.  Are you new to Death, Sex & Money? Check out our starter kit of some of our favorite episodes. And subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Jul 201925min

Tayari Jones & Carrie Mae Weems: What's It Like Up There?

Tayari Jones & Carrie Mae Weems: What's It Like Up There?

In the final installment of our maternity leave lineup, bestselling author Tayari Jones sits down with artist Carrie Mae Weems to talk about independence, art, relationships, and one very fabulous white silk dress worn for a spur-of-the-moment wedding.  This episode is part of our 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup of guest hosted shows while our regular host, Anna Sale, is out on leave. Are you new to Death, Sex & Money? Check out our starter kit of some of our favorite episodes. And subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Jun 201928min

Sarah Smarsh & Nick Smarsh: Are You Different Than Me?

Sarah Smarsh & Nick Smarsh: Are You Different Than Me?

The bestselling author and Kansan talks with her dad about what happens when you grow up believing the hard way is the best way, and then cross over into a different class.  This episode is part of our 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup of guest hosted shows while our regular host, Anna Sale, is out on leave. Are you new to Death, Sex & Money? Check out our starter kit of some of our favorite episodes. And subscribe to our weekly email newsletter! Every Wednesday we send out podcast listening recommendations, fascinating letters from our inbox and updates from the show. Sign up at deathsexmoney.org/newsletter. Support Death, Sex & Money today at deathsexmoney.org/donate. Follow the show on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. Got a story to share? Email us any time at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Jun 201921min

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