Rejection Isn’t Always As Deep As It Feels

It’s Jared’s birthday (and Jordana totally didn’t forget) so J&J talk about the ideal dating age for a man versus what people consider the ideal age for a woman. Then a listener writes in to ask why the guy she was seeing suddenly cooled off on her after hanging out for the first time in a month. Why won’t he give her a straight answer about where things went wrong between them? Jordana and Jared read their latest text exchange and try to explain what each of these people are thinking (and what it says about how we all communicate). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Feb 202126min

J&J begin the week with a conversation about properly loading the dishwasher (this doesn’t need to be so difficult!) and finding a good date spot in a pandemic. Then they react to a post from someone who applied to the Bachelor while in a relationship. What does it say about your relationship if you daydream about being on The Bachelor when you’re already with someone else? The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves a listener who suddenly realized that she’s been farting on every sex partner she’s ever slept over with. They read an email from another listener whose boyfriend started making more money but refuses to take on some of the extra household costs. Is it a sign of things to come if your partner insists on splitting everything fifty-fifty? Then they’re joined by Mike Johnson of The Bachelorette and the Talking It Out podcast. They talk about whether it hurts more to end a relationship with someone who did all the right things or someone who did you wrong. Plus, they discuss how to keep a relationship out of the public eye. Is there a difference between being private and secret? Finally, they play a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker with Mike, leading to a debate about how to make a proper excuse when you have a bathroom emergency on a first date. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Feb 20211h 23min

On this Valentines Day Sunday Special, the J’s are joined by Betches co-founder and host of the Diet Starts Tomorrow podcast, Aleen Dreksler. They start with a conversation about how V-Day expectations change as a relationship gets more serious. Then a listener writes in to share her experience with serious eating disorders (including anorexia and crash dieting) in her romantic life. She asks how and when it’s appropriate to tell the guy she just started dating that she has struggled with disordered eating throughout her life. When is it safe to tell someone that you struggle with food and are still working on it? Another emailer tells a story about dating a guy who lost a lot of weight and feels entitled to criticize other peoples’ bodies. Is it a deal breaker if they make negative comments about another person’s body, or is it possible she's overreacting? Finally, a listener asks how to tell her boyfriend that his fitness and diet routine is too extreme. Is there a way to tell your partner that you want them to ease up their restrictions (so you can just enjoy a bottle of wine together) without discouraging them from achieving their goals? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Feb 202147min

Jared and Jordana begin the week of Valentine’s Day with a conversation about how to celebrate the holiday in 2021. A listener writes in to ask whether or not she should expect the guy she’s only been dating for 2 months to plan something this year. J&J rate the level of V-Day expectations at every stage of a relationship, explaining exactly how much effort is required based on the milestones you’ve hit. The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves period sex, a flung condom, and a lot of cleanup. Then another listener asks why the guy she just started dating asked her to go on vacation together, then backed out at the last minute. Is he showing that he’s unreliable or just trying to avoid getting too serious too soon? They read a text message exchange about the cancelled vacation and tell us what’s really going on here. Finally, this week’s Red Flag or Deal Breakers feature a debate about whether or not you’re required to split lottery scratcher winnings with the person you’re dating. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

10 Feb 20211h 4min

On this week’s Sunday Special J&J are joined by Logan Ury, behavioral scientist, dating coach, and the author of How To Not Die Alone. They talk about how Logan uses her behavioral science background to better understand relationships, including some tips for how to figure out the age in which you should settle down. They discuss the three dating tendencies everyone should be aware of, how to identify our dating blindspots, and why it’s time to say “f*ck the spark” and just commit to a second date. Plus, she confirms one of Jared’s long-running theories about breakups. Then Logan tells the story of how she and her partner took on a health crisis, put on an impromptu wedding ceremony, and moved into a commune. Finally, a listener writes in to ask whether or not her relationship is struggling due to the pandemic, or if it’s a sign of a deeper problem. They discuss the best way to identify whether or not the person you’re dating is right for you long term. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Feb 20211h 2min

The J’s start the show with a conversation about criticizing a loved one’s appearance without hurting their feelings. A listener writes in to ask how she should bring up her partner’s balding head, and whether or not he’ll be offended by her suggestion to shave it all off. Is there any way to comment on your partner’s appearance without things going horribly wrong? The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves a fully masked guy going down on a fully clothed girl. Then another emailer asks whether her recent breakup was inevitable after relocating for each other but not feeling the desire to take it to the next level. Is there an expiration date on a relationship if you’ve been together a long time and aren’t considering marriage? Finally, they close the show with some Red Flag or Deal Breakers, leading to a debate about asking family members to join you on an otherwise romantic vacation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

3 Feb 20211h 3min

This week’s Sunday Special is all about trying to walk back a first date hook up in order to start taking things slower. A listener writes in about a guy who seems to be avoiding the second date after a great text exchange and a successful first meeting. Is it always a mistake to agree to a Netflix and chill hook up on the first date if you’re hoping for something more serious down the line? J&J examine their texts after the date and try to explain why he isn’t trying harder to see her again. Plus, they explain why having a series of FaceTime dates before meeting up in person might trick you into thinking things are more serious than the other person perceives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Jan 202134min

Jared and Jordana start the show with a reaction to Clare and Dale from The Bachelorette suddenly calling it quits, and tell us what this says about people who swear they’ve “met the one” too quickly. Then a listener writes in to ask how to deal with parents that excessively pressure you to date. How do you create boundaries without starting a fight? The Awkward Sexual Encounter involves an old couch, bad aim, and an overeager virgin. Next, an emailer writes in to ask whether or not it’s shady for her boyfriend to hide his IG stories about his relationship from a select list of women. Is he trying to keep them from seeing he’s in a relationship so that he can keep his options open? Finally, they play a game of Red Flag or Deal Breaker featuring a conversation about people who wait a full week to text you back. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

27 Jan 20211h 16min