#509: Good Shame; Bad Shame

#509: Good Shame; Bad Shame

In the modern age, shame is often seen as an unmitigated bad. According to this popular view, all shame is negative and toxic and steps should be taken to avoid and rid oneself of it. My guest today, however, makes the contrarian case that some shame is actually necessary to develop a true sense of self.

His name is Joseph Burgo, he’s a clinical psychologist and the author of the book Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy, and Build True Self-Esteem. Today on the show Joseph and I discuss what exactly shame is, what it feels like, and the difference between toxic shame and productive shame. Joseph then walks us through the sources of shame and how childhood shame can mark us for life. We then discuss tactics we use to mask or avoid feelings of shame, how these masking behaviors can sometimes get in the way of us making progress in our lives, and more productive ways to engage with shame. Joseph then digs into the culture of online shaming and the dangers we face as a society when we shame men by pathologizing healthy masculine attributes like assertiveness, risk taking, and competitiveness.

Get the show notes at aom.is/shame.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episoder(1160)

How to Use Probability Hacking to Achieve Your Goals

How to Use Probability Hacking to Achieve Your Goals

Most of us chase goals — starting a business, running a marathon, getting a promotion — without ever asking: What are the actual odds this will work?My guest today says those odds aren’t just graspabl...

30 Des 202550min

Escape the Happiness Trap

Escape the Happiness Trap

Note: This is a rebroadcast. Happiness is the subject of thousands of articles, podcasts, and scientific studies. Yet all this focus on happiness doesn’t seem to be making people any happier. In fact,...

23 Des 202551min

The Idea Machine — How Books Changed the World (and Still Matter)

The Idea Machine — How Books Changed the World (and Still Matter)

Books are everywhere. They're so common, they're easy to take for granted. But my guest argues that they’re worth fully appreciating — because the book isn’t just a container for content; it’s a revol...

16 Des 202555min

Why You Don’t Follow Through on Your Health Goals — and How to Fix It

Why You Don’t Follow Through on Your Health Goals — and How to Fix It

Most of us know what we should do to be healthier: eat better, move more, sleep well. The real challenge? Actually following through.On today’s show, I talk to behavioral psychologist Amantha Imber, a...

9 Des 202551min

Masculinity as Confident Competence

Masculinity as Confident Competence

There’s a lot of debate these days about what it means to be a man. But maybe the answer is simpler than we think, and a lot of masculinity just comes down to confident competence. A broad set of know...

2 Des 202549min

A Butler’s Guide to Managing Your Household

A Butler’s Guide to Managing Your Household

Note: This is a rebroadcast. It’s a tough job to manage a household. Things need to be regularly fixed, maintained, and cleaned. How do you stay on top of these tasks in order to keep your home in tip...

25 Nov 202549min

How the World Wars Shaped J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis

How the World Wars Shaped J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis

When people think of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, they often picture tweedy Oxford professors and beloved fantasy authors. But their writing wasn't drawn only from their bucolic days teaching at Oxf...

18 Nov 202556min

Family Culture and the Sibling Effect — What Really Shapes Who You Become

Family Culture and the Sibling Effect — What Really Shapes Who You Become

When we think about what shaped our life trajectory, we often focus on the way our parents raised us. But what about our siblings? What role do they play in who we become?My guest today makes the case...

11 Nov 202541min

Populært innen Fakta

fastlegen
dine-penger-pengeradet
mikkels-paskenotter
relasjonspodden-med-dora-thorhallsdottir-kjersti-idem
foreldreradet
rss-strid-de-norske-borgerkrigene
treningspodden
jakt-og-fiskepodden
rss-bisarr-historie
rss-kull
takk-og-lov-med-anine-kierulf
rss-sunn-okonomi
fryktlos
sinnsyn
hagespiren-podcast
rss-kunsten-a-leve
level-up-med-anniken-binz
gravid-uke-for-uke
hverdagspsyken
rss-var-forste-kaffe