Episode 38: Part vampire, part maths teacher

Episode 38: Part vampire, part maths teacher

Happy Thursday! We're delighted to be in your ears towards the end of the week for the first time. It feels great.


This time around: Japanese trains and the perverts within them, Pete still has a hard time coming to terms with the age of some animals which manifests itself in the form of a truly horrific anecdote about tortoises, and some of your lovely emails of course.


Thinking about it, have we ever made an episode that *doesn't* feature a truly horrific anecdote from Pete? Probably not.


Get your thoughts to us as soon as humanly possible: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com


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The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday.

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Episoder(934)

Whale Stench on the Machinery

Whale Stench on the Machinery

Pete recently spent half a monkey on a hotel and went to see some atrocious stand-up. Luke’s reminded of the time he saw Van Morrison completely phone it in on stage. Also up for discussion today is t...

17 Aug 27min

The Impressive Chest of a Guatemalan Man

The Impressive Chest of a Guatemalan Man

The UK is experiencing its millionth heatwave of the summer and the world is on fire but at least a lot of shareholder value is being generated.On today’s show, Pete regales us with stories from a day...

13 Aug 35min

Eating Rollmops in a Public Toilet

Eating Rollmops in a Public Toilet

A hankering for fish on a stick can take you to strange places, as Pete recently discovered. It’s a bleak tale, but at least he’s not turning blue like that bloke who kept drinking silver.We get into ...

10 Aug 24min

The Toyota Century and 3D Printing Enthusiasts' Club

The Toyota Century and 3D Printing Enthusiasts' Club

Pete’s got a vest on and isn’t sure he’s a large enough man to carry it off. The ever-supportive Luke disagrees.Today we’re reflecting on the glory of the hotdog, the infantilisation of the modern man...

6 Aug 32min

Unofficial Chinese Police Stations

Unofficial Chinese Police Stations

Bizarre stories abound on today’s show as Luke recollects when a load of covert overseas Chinese “police stations” were found in the UK and Pete details a data encoding furore from the 1990s. Plus, we...

3 Aug 26min

Bad Knees and a Hosepipe Ban

Bad Knees and a Hosepipe Ban

Buckle up, everyone, it’s learning time and we’re getting to the bottom of some mysteries. Why don’t animals have green fur? Why does Luke respect Pete as a broadcaster? You’re about to find out the a...

30 Jul 34min

Don’t Have a Whinge, Poindexter

Don’t Have a Whinge, Poindexter

It’s a tech-heavy one today. Luke’s suckling on the teet of Apple’s Tim Cook, Pete’s bought yet another esoteric Chinese phone and together the guys have devised a breakthrough sleep-monitoring applic...

27 Jul 28min

 Look at My Diseases

Look at My Diseases

Luke reckons Jude Bellingham’s handsomeness is going underreported, Pete’s got iTunes on the brain and Mitch McConnell is having to prove he’s still alive. And that’s just the first five minutes of to...

23 Jul 31min

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