"I'm a spicy tamale, you can't gaslight me!"

“How do I heal from gaslighting?” In today’s episode, Sarah and her guest Emily talk about the journey of connecting with her knowing, and how that translates to being able to stand her ground in the face of a gaslighting attempt.

Do you want to learn how to stand your ground, too? Check out the 12-week program Sarah created specifically for this reason! (There’s also an option for a 1:1 package, too).

Word of the day: KNOWING – Sarah read an excerpt from Glennon Doyle’s book: Untamed.

Story time: Sarah and Emily talk about her “Day Before Thanksgiving Story” experience with the man in the parking lot, who almost backed up into her, then tried to intimidate and bully her!

• Emily shared the aggressive/intimidating things he did; how she was able to stay in her knowing, AND, yet, how a trauma response was still something she experienced.
• Sarah talked about the reasons why recognizing these types of “minor” gaslighting incidents are important: We need to understand how pervasive gaslighting behaviors are.
• Emily and Sarah talked about the fact that while Emily’s response here was an empowered one – it was one that came YEARS after she learned about and began working on healing from gaslighting.
• They went back to the “Old Emily” and shared how different her response to this situation would have been.
• Sarah and Emily talked about how different it is now, and how out of alignment a response like that would be, now. This is when Emily emphasized that point by saying how she’s “A spicy tamale – you can’t gaslight me!”

Deconstruction Zone:

• What stood out to Sarah was how this person stepped into the role of THE BULLY.
• He used both non-verbal and verbal intimidation; changed reality by distorting the facts and exaggerating about Emily’s behaviors; ignored reality by refusing to accept facts contrary to his feelings/thoughts.; he undermined by being condescending, disrespectful, and using cutting remarks.
• This COULD have led to mind games and ultimately to someone losing connection to what they knew to be true. Even though that DIDN’T happen, Sarah created “Old Emily’s” flow-chart:
• Didn’t really see who she is; not fully in her “knowing”, had not fully embraced her power.
• Creates an energy/“base-line” of self-doubt, which leads to being uncomfortable with disagreement and having a hard time acknowledging when someone was treating her badly.
• This led Old Emily to take on self-blame and focus on keeping the peace.
• Emily and Sarah discussed what it takes, and what it feels like, to connect with our knowing.

Set Your Alarm: Set an intention to “grow your knowing”; give yourself permission to “check in with yourself”; and don’t forget: growing your knowing is like shopping for jeans.

Closing: Thank you for listening to today’s episode. If you liked it, please leave a review and subscribe, and if you think others would benefit from it, please share it. And remember – it’s not about becoming who you want to be, it’s about awakening all that you already are! And now I leave you with the anthem of this podcast: Not Today…

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