"I was a total rule follower"

Sarah speaks to white women that consider themselves conservative Christians, who are struggling because of the internal conflict that is raging – because of the abuse of power they are witnessing.

Unless people can see, and then confront the gaslighting that they have experienced, they won’t be able to see past the bullshit, and then do the wrestling they need to do in order to get out of that cognitive dissonance.

Do you have an experience/topic for Sarah to connect to gaslighting? If so, click here to let Sarah know.

Word of the day: Cognitive Dissonance - According to verywellmind.com, The term cognitive dissonance is used to describe the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. This experience of trying to hold two conflicting beliefs is ALWAYS experienced as a result of chronic gaslighting.

Story Time: Today, Sarah gives a few examples from her own life of how she came to recognize the cognitive dissonance she was unknowingly experiencing and how she found peace.

Deconstruction Zone:

1. In all three stories, gaslighting tactics of distorting facts, ignoring reality that doesn’t support their agenda, refusing to accept answers they didn’t want, laying on guilt trips, being inconsistent with the use of principles/Bible verses, exaggerating the faults all were present. These things were used to manipulate, play mind games, and brainwash people into taking on not only their beliefs about abortion/race & racism/LGBTQ+, but ALSO, what must be done about it – as their own.
2. Sarah highlights self-gaslighting when it comes to race/racism. A common, unaware gaslighting motive is a defense mechanism to fear/shame. She specifically names self-gaslighting through minimizing, ignoring the bits of reality we feel like we can’t “handle” or “don’t relate to us”, and exaggerating things that soothe our shame/fear/sense of powerlessness.

Set Your Alarm: Two alarms today:

1) Those who are experiencing the cognitive dissonance:

• Acknowledge the internal conflict.
• Question things that don’t sit right with you. You get to question anyone and everyone! Start here: what do I FEEL when I think about this issue (pay attention to your body cues); what do I like about the stance I’ve been taking/what are the values that support the stance I’ve been taking; what do I NOT like about the stance I’ve been taking/what values does it violate to have this stance?
• Be relentless in your pursuit of truth and consistency.

2) Those who want to talk with loved ones experiencing cognitive dissonance:

• Acknowledge/validate the conflict. This is crucial, and where you should start.
• Make yourself available to share your views/how you came to see things the way you did. Point them to experts and resources that can help them with their conflict/CD.
• Hold your boundaries while holding empathy for the fact that your loved ones have themselves been gaslit, and will need to be able to see this before they can break free.
• Remember, it is not your responsibility to “educate” them or convince them of anything. It’s easy to get pulled out of our integrity and into debates and power plays and all the things – #1 priority is to stay in alignment with who you are/your values.

Sarah is going to have some exciting new ways to go through her signature program soon! Follow her on Facebook,