241: Spouse is Great but Unhealthy, Blamed for Child's Behavior, Feel vs act

241: Spouse is Great but Unhealthy, Blamed for Child's Behavior, Feel vs act

1.My husband and I are in our late 20s, no children, married less than 3 years. 6 months after our wedding, I became whole food plant based and an ethical vegan. I was already pretty healthy prior, but still lost 10 pounds and reversed some health conditions. My husband has a lot of health issues. He hasn't physically changed much since our wedding and has always had these health problems, but I looked past them because I love everything else about my husband. He's seen all the vegan documentaries and completely believes the science, but has no interest in eating healthier, being more active, or stop eating fast food daily. I love my husband and he supports my lifestyle, but I no longer find him attractive. I believe it's because I know that if he drastically changed his diet, he could reverse many of his health problems that turn me off. I know it's natural for couples to lose attraction towards each other over time, but what do you do when you're repulsed by your spouse? 2.I'm a single mother of a girl that is intelligent and highly emotional. Much like her biological father I see genetic resemblance of undersirable traits. I've recently been dating a man which I feel a strong connection with. He is a single father and has a very emotionally stable, agreeable 15 year old daughter. My new partner seems blown away by my daughters highs and lows and I feel blamed for her behavior on my lack of my discipline. I feel like her behavior has to do with her genetics but is that a cop out for possibly a lack of discipline? How do I explain to this mid to low openness mate I've found that knows nothing of EP that she is who she is and we are along for the ride if he can bare it. 3.Do the 5 traits have to do more with how we feel or how we act? So if someone often thinks that people are no good bastards and hates most of them but acts nicely most of the time, that makes them high A person?

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Episoder(402)

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

386: How to Handle Bad Advice Without a Fight

What do you say when a friend or family member recommends horse-assisted coaching, family constellations therapy, or the latest protein fix for your problems? Evolutionary psychologist Dr. Doug Lisle ...

10 Jul 45min

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

A listener who knows evolutionary psychology well asks Dr. Doug Lisle a painful question. If men seem satisfied once they have food and sex, and never care about her inner life, is she fighting a losi...

26 Jun 1h 12min

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

Why do some people freeze when they try to speak up in a group, while others jump in without a second thought? Dr. Doug Lisle says it is not shyness or a confidence problem you can train away. It is y...

10 Jun 1h 5min

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

A listener noticed their kid gets dissatisfied after too much screen time and asked Dr. Lisle a deeper question: when your mood feels off, is it always worth analyzing, or are some bad moods just rand...

3 Jun 1h 9min

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Most people assume mate value is a fixed, rankable number and that attraction follows logically from it. Dr. Lisle says that is the wrong model entirely. Mate value has deep objectivity across a popul...

13 Mai 1h

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

Most people think a marriage in trouble can be downgraded into a business arrangement to protect the house. Dr. Lisle says that is the previous investment trap talking, not your judgment. The four wal...

29 Apr 50min

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

Your partner's habits are driving you crazy and asking nicely isn't working. The common advice is to be more patient, communicate better, or just accept your partner as they are. Dr. Lisle says that's...

15 Apr 1h 7min

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

Most people assume that whoever cares less in a relationship holds the power. In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle explains why that framing gets it completely backwards. What people call the "care gap" is...

2 Apr 1h

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